Isolation & denial

I have written blogs here on site about denial, so there’s probably not much more now to say about it, but one last thought came to mind in how isolating living in denial can be.

It’s fine to a point, but once we’re in denial over health issues we’re literally on our own, I’ve seen it happen. Living in denial can also split families, when certain family members want to know what’s going on and other family members don’t. It literally makes communication and helping one another very difficult.

As family begin to pull in different directions, it’s never easy knowing what’s going on. It’s also hard to watch someone go down hill before your very eyes, and not be able to help. I take the view that whatever we deal with, as long as we understand and agree, we will always cope better.

Those who consciously choose not to know what’s wrong with another family member, will always make it difficult for other family members who want to know what’s going on. Ideally all family members need to be working off the same page.

Sometimes we don’t want to know, sometimes we’re in denial because we can’t face up to things.


6 Nov, 2012

4 thoughts on “Isolation & denial

  1. I used to deny in my mind that I was a diabetic, especially when I was a teen. I would go out with what few friends I had and party just like them, eat just like them and get into trouble just like them. Some of it was normal teenager defiance but I would disregard the diabetes.

    I was very careless with my life but as I got older I learned to deal with the diabetes better and became more educated about it.

    When my father was ill we didn’t keep things from anybody. Everyone was on the same page and it’s that way with my mom now. She knows everything that is going on and that’s the way she wants it. Nothing is kept from anybody.

    I think that people in denial think if they don’t know what’s going on in reality it won’t happen. It’s like, “Don’t talk about it and it will go away.”

    1. When it comes to illness of course it’s important for all family to be aware and working from the same page, but there are cases where families don’t always need to know other things that may not be of particular interest or concern them in anyway, unless of course we want to tell them.

      I do think you’re right Lisa in what you say about people who are in denial. Our realities will happen even if we don’t think or talk about those realities. Having something like cancer happens, it doesn’t go away because we don’t talk about it.

      Denial for some is a short sharp fix, for others it’s a long term problem when their whole existence is denial.

  2. My sister has a health issue she’s keeping to herself and completely blocking all family from her, unless she needs something.

    When my parents ask about her health, she gets defensive and quickly changes the subject. It’s really hurting my parents and making everyone upset my sister is doing this.

    Then she goes to our other sister and whines that no one cares.

    1. Sadly, Bonnie unless your sister changes tack and talks about her health issues there’s nothing you or your family can do to help her. It’s also not fair to your other sister, who seems to be singled out by her.

      I can understand your frustrations and how upsetting this is, but unless you cut her out of the equation, it’ll be pretty much the same for as long as she chooses to come in like this.

      Although that may seem harsh and a last resort, it is the only way your sister is going to stop whining and stop making you all upset.

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