I have always known how important it is for us to deal with personal issues before the person we have an issue with, is no longer around. Dealing with my father’s terminal illness has taught me that.
If we don’t deal with our issues, they inevitably stay with us. It’s even harder when a loved one is terminally ill, and we still have unresolved issues. To be honest it’s only when a loved one is faced with a terminal illness that we realise how many unresolved issues we have.
To leave unresolved issues because we’re afraid to say what they are means we’ll continue to live with those issues long after our loved ones have gone.
But it very much depends on the relationship. If we had a relationship in the first place, we’d have very few issues to address. Sadly, it’s not something I’ve been lucky enough to witness.
Dealing with family members can be difficult; trying to talk about your issues with a family member who has a terminal illness is even harder, particularly if they don’t want to talk and bring closure.
I believe that if someone doesn’t talk about their issues before their terminal illness, the odds are them being ill won’t make a difference. It’s harder for us, but it is still important we talk about the issues that matter to us, however we manage to do that. It’s us who will have to live with the guilt once our loved ones are gone, because we didn’t get to say what we needed to say.
I won’t look back and feel remorseful that I didn’t say anything. Thankfully I did manage to talk about some of the issues that were bothering me, particularly my non-diagnosis. We must talk about the things that matter to us if we want to keep our health intact.