I’ve always known how important it is for us to deal with our issues before the person we have an issue with, is no longer around. Dealing with my father’s terminal illness has taught me that.
Sadly, if we don’t deal with our issues, those inevitably will stay with us. It’s even harder when a loved one is terminally ill, and we still have unresolved issues to resolve. To be honest it’s only when a loved one is faced with a terminal illness that we realise how many unresolved issues we’re dealing with that may never be resolved.
To leave unresolved issues because we’re afraid to say what they are, means we’ll continue to live with those issues long after our loved ones have gone. But it very much depends on the relationship. If we had the best relationship in the first place, we’d have very little issues to address. It’s not something I’ve been lucky to witness.
Dealing with any family member is hard enough but dealing with a family member who has a terminal illness and we’re trying to talk about our issues is even harder, particularly if they don’t want to talk about it and we’re finding it difficult to bring closure.
If someone isn’t talking about your issues before their terminal issues, the odds are them being ill won’t make a difference. It’s harder for us, but still important we talk about the issues that matter to us. Sadly, on our part, it’s us that have to live with the guilt once our loved ones are gone, because we didn’t get to say what we needed to say.
I won’t look back and feel remorseful that I didn’t say anything. Thankfully I did manage to talk about some of the things that we’re bothering me. We must talk if we want to keep our health in-tact.