I’ve always known how important it is for us to deal with our issues before the person we need to talk to is no longer around. The last year dealing with my father’s terminal illness has taught me that.
Sadly, if we don’t deal with our issues, those issues inevitably stay with us. It’s even harder when a loved one is terminally ill and we still have unresolved issues to resolve. To be honest it’s only when a loved one is faced with a terminal illness that we realise how many unresolved issues we’re dealing with that may never be resolved.
To leave unresolved issues because we’re afraid to say what they are, means we’ll continue to live with those issues many years after our loved ones have gone. But of course, it very much depends on the relationship. If we had the best of relationships in the first place I’m sure we’d have very little issues to address.
Dealing with a family member with a terminal illness is hard enough, but dealing with someone’s terminal illness whilst living we’re having to deal with our issues is even harder, particularly if we can’t bring closure.
In the past year given my own personal circumstances I have chosen to talk out the issues that were bothering me the most. Unfortunately, no one can change the fact that our loved ones get ill, but we can change the issues important enough for us to change, whilst they’re still around.
We tend to live with guilt when they’re gone because we didn’t get to say what we perhaps felt needed to be said. I won’t look back and feel remorseful that I didn’t say anything.
I thankfully got myself to a place where I did manage to talk things out. It’s particularly good for our emotional and physical health.