Lashing out

As a child, I was less than careful with what and how I used to say things. Looking back it wasn’t my fault. I had good enough reasons.

My mum would often say ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’  But children don’t always think how they speak. They will often blurt things out, without engaging their thoughts first.

Years on and society has also changed. Family seem more diverse now. Children spend more time with their friends, some of the old fashioned values are gone. Children grow up quicker. They want to experience the world quicker and are less prepared to wait.

Families tend to spend less time together, so they communicate less. Unfortunately, children don’t always want to know what their parents have to say, let alone teach them. They seem less accountable now than they were when I was growing up.

With work on myself, in my early twenties I became the total opposite. I was too pleasing. I know that if my disability hadn’t been ignored, my life would have taken a different path to the path I’m on now, so I am thankful.

I wasn’t a bad person; I was misunderstood and my issues ignored.

25 Aug, 2012

8 thoughts on “Lashing out

  1. Yes, I agree. Things are totally different now than they were say 30 years ago and the bad thing is that it’s worse not better. We need to be close as a family now more than ever.

    This world we’re living in is going down the drain and the break up of the family unit is part of the problem.
    We need to implore old fashion family values like ones that we had when we were growing up.

    I’m not saying they were perfect then either because it’s always said in every generation, ‘things were so much better when I was growing up,’ so it’s just going to get worse as the years go by.

    The one sure thing that we can do is stick to being close families and understand each other.

    1. You’re right Lisa. I think until the family change how they perceive one another, things will get worse. I grew up with the old fashioned values and I have to say they do work.

      It’s up to us as parents to reign our children back in on their behavior or at least find out why they behave like they do. My parents should have done that with me. It would have made our relationship better.

  2. I was a very angry child too and would often lash out at whoever walked across my path! I think that’s why dealing with my girlfriend’s nephew (20) has been so difficult for me since he reminds me so much of myself when I was younger.

    It really sets me off when he speaks very rudely to my girlfriend, but she takes it, so I’m trying to stay out of it.

    It does seem like the old fashioned family values are not being taught so much in this day and age, which is very sad.

    I’m just trying my best to not be the person I was when I was a kid!

    1. I think it’s very hard to listen or see someone lash out, because those situations tend to take us back to our own childhood.

      I am sure you will never go back to being that person as a kid. The fact that you already know how that feels and can see it in your girlfriend’s nephew will make you even more determined not to go back there.

    1. I remember certain things in my childhood based on my mother’s principles, but through some of the chaos and problems the biggest thing my parents failed to realise is that I needed help with what I was dealing with.

      It doesn’t matter what children deal with, they need to have their emotional needs met.

  3. My mother would often say; ‘if you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.’

    My mom always said that too. That statement and my speech is what caused me not to talk much. Even now I do not talk much.

    1. I think you’re mom and my mum must have read the same parenting books, but joking apart, I think that generation did. We both have CP and neither set of parents understood why we perhaps lashed out in the way we did.

      Although you cannot change the past Bill or your mom, you can change how you perceive yourself and your world now.

      Give yourself the satisfaction of changing the way you do things now. It’s your time to try to make a difference to change what is.

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