Having little to no motivation left me feeling somewhat out of control. That feeling of bewilderment, where everything you have done should fall into place, but never can and leaves you with no direction at all.
From a very early age I was always accepting of my life and that gave me some form of control over my issues. Maybe the pleasing side of me, allowed me to be accepting because I learned not to challenge.
We can’t always be in control and that’s something I’ve had to accept. I think that helped me deal with what I had to deal with around my physical issues. Whatever it was, it wasn’t going away. It is who I am. I also know that I have to come to terms with other people’s attitudes towards what I deal with, as part of my spiritual and emotional growth.
I can only change myself and although others need to do the same for themselves, it’s something they have to realise themselves. I have to try to adapt into my life. I understand more than I did before, so that’s positive.
Today I feel a little brighter, slightly more motivated, calmer and more relaxed and back in control of my thoughts.