Learning to let go

I just couldn’t let go of the fact that the heels on my shoes would never wear uniformly because I had a difference in leg length. I would constantly hone in on it. It became my biggest bug bear.

Why is it that we still can’t seem to let it go?

We hold on as if our lives depended on it. I know that if I had understood why, I probably would have let go sooner, but many years later in my twenties, long before I found out that I had Cerebral Palsy.

I stopped beating myself up about it, because it was making me miserable. I must have unconsciously known it could never change. When our unconscious finally let’s go that’s when we  let go. It was at that point that I began to let go in other areas of my life too.

I believe that when we continue to wish for things we can’t change, we will always miss out on new experiences because we’re dwelling on those things, not to mention living with those frustrations and others having to live with us.

When we struggle other people will know of our struggles. Our struggles aren’t something we can easily hide or keep to ourselves. We must always let go of any circumstances that aren’t possible to change.

Not to, will either begin to interfere with our health or will continue to make us even more miserable and frustrated.


19 Feb, 2014

4 thoughts on “Learning to let go

  1. I seem to be able to let go of most things, but there are some I can’t let go of.

    I slowly let go of my father who passed away in 2004, but it has taken me this long to do it. I realize he is happy now and better off. Now I’m dealing with my mom’s passing in January. It’s been hard just as it was with my father, but eventually I know I will let go cause I know she is happy and with my father.

    I’ve been done wrong so many times and I seem to be able to let go of the wrongs.They are still in my memories but I understand that a lot of people who don’t care if they do others wrong; they are out for number one.

    When I was a teen and into my 20’s I would hold onto things and my mom would tell me to let them go. There isn’t anything I can do about it now. What’s done is done and in the past. Get on with your life.

    I agree with her. There maybe some things that we can do something about, but most things are in the past and there isn’t anyway to change it.

    1. You’re absolutely right Lisa, which is why there’s no point in holding on, particularly as there isn’t any way to change what’s done.

      There are definitely some things we can change and those things we should change. If we don’t, we’ll only live with regret, but what we can’t change we must let go of.

  2. Letting go has been one of the hardest things for me to do in my life. I’ve held on to resentments from when I was 3 years old, when I almost died from pneumonia and was actually angry when I woke up alive!

    Many other things happened that I also hung on to which caused me to give up on things I really wanted to do! I just wasn’t able to let go of the rage I had inside, for what happened to me as a child.

    I call it ‘being thrown to the wolves,’ which is pretty much what my childhood was like. If it wasn’t for my siblings, I wouldn’t be alive now, since they often took care of me even though I was such a rotten child.

    I had to deal with things that no child should ever have to deal with. It brings up so many feelings even thinking about it, but suffice to say I learned how to carry a grudge against the world.

    The biggest problem was that it’s great for surviving, but not so good for living. I now have to cut what I have to from my life so that I don’t become a bitter old man who suffers until the bitter end!

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes it’s hard letting go. I feel for you. From what you say in your response it sounds as though your siblings will probably have been having a hard time too. If you were struggling, they will also have struggled.

      It’s not right that any of you had to go through what you went through in your childhood, but hopefully now you’ll be strong enough now to make some of those changes.

      I think that when we begin to recognise the mistakes our parents made, although it doesn’t correct our childhood, is does take the onus off us. The mistakes you went on to make were as a consequence of where you were emotionally, which wasn’t your fault. That hopefully will make it easier for you to let go.

      We must learn to let go of the things we cannot change; not to will hurt us more.

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