Although I wanted to know what I was dealing with, I had no choice but to keep the lid on my feelings. That went on for many years.
Letting go of anger doesn’t take away the initial wrongdoing of the perpetrator and why we initially feel anger towards that person. Whatever anyone does, they will be responsible and accountable, but for us it does go some way to change the way we perceive what they’ve done.
Through anger we hold on to resentment and through our resentment of the situation, we will always continue to perpetuate our feelings on a subconscious level. Because living with resentment puts ill feeling between them and the person they resent, they will become the transgressor; the bad ones.
I think if we can rise above what we truly feel, to understand the bigger picture we can let go of resentment towards others. The reason why it’s so hard to let go is that without the other person accepting blame or a compromise, we carry their guilt and blame ourselves for not being able to change the outcome.
As a child, although I never harboured resentment in the true sense, because I was oblivious to my issues, I now feel I can see my father, not from the perspective of a child with needs that were ignored and never met, but as the adult capable of understanding that people aren’t always what we expect or need them to be.