Living our parents’ lives

Children will eventually reinforce their parents’ lives, unless they get to change the way they live. As a child, I was constantly being conditioned, but unless we’re allowed to make our own decisions, children will go on to live their parents’ lives. This is particularly true of cultured families.

We’re all born into families based around culture, but whereas some children will be allowed to make their own decision about how they live their lives, others will unconsciously be moulded to live their parents’ lives, based around their parents’ culture. Unless children work to change certain aspects of their lives as adults, they will eventually hold the same cultural values and live the same lives as their parents.

Given the environment and different experiences we experience and the fact that children are growing up in a different era, the way parents’ live and the way children want to live their lives, won’t always be the same. Although it’s hard for any parent to watch their child live their lives with different cultural beliefs, it’s important for a child’s spiritual growth, they be allowed to make their own decisions about their lives.

It’s important to guide children so that they are aware of their roots and that’s accepted. Roots form the foundations for children to feel like they belong, but it must be up to children to choose their own lives and beliefs for themselves. Without it and speaking from my own experience that part is enormously difficult, almost impossible.


13 May, 2015

4 thoughts on “Living our parents’ lives

  1. I do agree we need to allow our children to make their own decisions, as long as they don’t lead to physical danger.

    If we control every aspect of their lives, we risk them growing resentful toward us. I have seen that with me and my siblings. They might make mistakes, but that’s what life is about, learning as we go.

    1. Thanks Maria. Ditto on your thoughts. I am more than sure though, that with the right foundations in place, children would go on to make the right decisions for themselves including their decisions on any cultural beliefs.

      Having experienced life from the other side of the coin, I believe it’s important parents’ at least find a balance. As you rightly say, ‘life is about, learning as we go,’ and I agree. Children learn through guidance, not by being told what to do.

      Being told what to do doesn’t teach children how to make a decision, or what pitfalls to look out for so that they come to the right decision, without making a mistake.

  2. There was no danger of me living my parents’ lives as they were hands off to say the least. I grew up living my own life and I well understand the importance of my children living theirs.

    I’m there for them when they want me, but their lives are theirs to fall, pick themselves up, grow and learn from.

    1. This is music to my ears and is exactly the way parents should parent. Ditto on your thoughts.

      Living our own lives is the only way we will mature into independent adults.

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