Looking back

I woke up this morning with a clear mind, which is unusual for me, but as the day moves on so does my mind. My thoughts now go back to the last 4 months.

Where we have no choice and know that we have to get through certain situations, we tend not to think about those situations. If we did we’d probably bail. The enormity of what we have had to deal with as a family hasn’t sunk in yet. I feel as though I’m on autopilot.

Working through an assault is never easy. I knew that although each day would be a challenge, but those challenges had to be met. I just knew we had to get through because Daniel was relying on us. As a family and individually we all played our different roles. To some extent it brought us closer, but other times it divided us.

As we all began to cope, we brought different emotions into the equation. Those had to be dealt with. It was also very difficult for us to say what we wanted to say. A lot of what I thought I kept to myself.

Now 4 months on and with Daniel back at university, I can see things clearer now. Things have returned to a different normal, but we still have a way to go until things can be completely resolved. I am not sure how Daniel will find the transition of getting back into his old life, but it’s something that will be good for him even if he doesn’t see it now.

None of us can change our past, that much is true, but we can change the way we perceive our past so that we get to live in the present and be okay with things. I go with the thought that things in our lives happen for a reason, but even if those reasons aren’t apparent or seem clear at the time, it’s our job to find a level of acceptance on them.

Invariable situations become clear when we least expect them to. It’s at this point we usually find our own level of acceptance. I really hope Daniel finds his.

3 Feb, 2012

2 thoughts on “Looking back

  1. I think Daniel will find acceptance, but it may take a while. We do what we have to for our kids no matter the cost to ourselves. I try to move on and learn from the past.

    Sometimes that’s harder to do; but we need to move on so we don’t get stuck in the past and stay there.

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