Low self-esteem

As a child growing up with a disability I didn’t know I had, ‘I got on with it.’ Although I hated not being able to function normally and with no emotional support, something inside of me just knew this wasn’t about me.

And that became the driving force behind my thinking. I wasn’t into self-pity. I didn’t like my leg or the shape of my foot, but I knew I didn’t hate myself. I became angry because I was struggling to function emotionally.

We’re born with our emotions in-tact, therefore low self-esteem isn’t part of that scenario. Our negative childhood experiences start with our parents, and although that is true for me, there are also many other influences around us that sadly impact our emotional development.

It’s not always easy for us to stay positive or keep our thoughts grounded. What we tell ourselves is inherent. It’s also got something to do with how we cope with certain situations, where that becomes our coping mechanism. It’s easy to pull ourselves down.

Although we don’t or can’t always see what low self-esteem does to us in the longer-term, it changes our perceptions if we struggle with it for long enough. We tend to pick holes in ourselves and yet if we’re already picking holes, we can work to build ourselves up instead.

I find it sad that the most important thing we possess such as the soul and spirit is something we don’t even consider and as a result, we ignore and in some cases abuse them. We’re here on a spiritual journey. Picking holes and self-loathing is going against the essence of our being.

Instead, we must learn how to cultivate gratitude and make that a permanent fixture in our lives. We must stop looking at ourselves as a force to be reckoned with and instead see ourselves as someone we admire. If used often enough, gratitude becomes the driving force behind our ambition and humility.

Gratitude is the platform to courage. It is also the driving force behind us ‘giving back’ and giving back is the sole purpose of our journey here.

10 Apr, 2018

4 thoughts on “Low self-esteem

  1. I guess I am lucky I never had low self esteem at any time, but I can understand that through your struggles you will have experienced those feelings. It is now commonly accepted that childhood abuse leads to low esteem.

    As a parent it is our job to ensure that all children feel loved, safe, secure, stimulated and in control although not many children feel all of these all of the time.

    As you rightly suggest to change our self-image and improve low self esteem, we need to believe in an alternative opinion of ourselves through positive experiences.

    1. Thank you. Yes, positive experiences are the foundations for any child to come through their childhood unscathed. And that starts with our parents.

      But it pleases me that you didn’t struggle.

  2. I was doing pretty well as a child up until about the age of 4, when a girl tried to crush my skull, which ended up with me being forced to wear glasses.

    They like to say that kids can be cruel, but they were downright sadistic to me on top of the dysfunctional nightmare that was my home life.

    My Mom went well out of her way to break my spirit and very nearly destroy my soul, while my dad just went along with whatever crazy idea she came up with.

    They so often seemed to forget that they had 4 kids who needed to be taken care of, so we ended up having to take care of each other. I’m not exactly sure how it was that we actually survived, but somehow we did but not without psychic injuries that won’t ever heal.

    I am grateful for being alive, I would imagine, but now I have the task of trying to find out why, which I hope I can do in what time I have left.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, we can’t go back, but instead we must choose to go forward and reinvent ourselves.

      It doesn’t take away what’s happened or your parents’ responsibilities over you and what they failed to do, but it does go some way to bring about some understanding.

      We must work hard at bringing about understanding so that we can apply what we know to a new life. But again we must be pro-active, so that things like low self-esteem are a thing of the past.

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