Making good choices

I was never allowed to make any of my own choices when I was growing up. Of course making any kind of choice, takes confidence and the mental ability for us to be able to work through the consequences of making a final decision.

Making good choices allows us to make better decisions. So how do we go about encouraging children to make good choices?

The following tips may help:

  • Encourage children to make their own decisions by giving them two or three choices to choose from;
  • Work on a couple of choices so that they begin to learn to understand their choices and how to work through them;
  • Once they learn how to choose so that they make their own decisions, allow them to choose decisions.


A good starting point would be to teach children about values, because our values usually form the foundations so that we go on to make choices. Without those, I believe we will all begin to struggle. If we, as adults struggle with choices, our children will struggle too. They learn from us.

Of course, without knowing what’s right from wrong, none of this will work. For example, if a child throws an innate object at another child and that child gets hurt, then that decision is wrong. Children need to know if they do something wrong.

Discuss the merits 

It’s important to discuss the merits of making decisions based on our choices and explain how those decisions are made. I believe that when we know what we want, we are usually confident about making our decisions, based on our choices. When I started making choices and decisions as an adult, I based my decisions around what other people wanted, which didn’t accord with what I wanted, for myself.

I think as long as parents continue to teach and point out where their children go wrong in a positive way, they will eventually learn how to make choices and decisions that will benefit them mostly and with the right encouragement they will be successful.

22 Sep, 2011

10 thoughts on “Making good choices

  1. My sister in law did this with her children. She gave them a choice and told them what would happen with each choice.

    I think this made them strong at a early age, which is a good thing.

  2. A friend of mine gave me a paper called ‘self-control’ and on it was 3 questions. “Stop, think, what will happen if you do this and lastly Is this what you want to happen?”

    She has been using it with her 4 year-old and it works sometimes with him, but it makes sense. I always tried to help my kids make the right decision by giving them choices too.

    I also think they should learn this life lesson when they are young. It’ll go a long way when they are older.

    1. I would imagine that the self control paper would work in some situations, but perhaps wouldn’t work in all situations.

      I do agree that the younger children are encouraged to make good choices, the easier it is for them when they’re older. Thanks for posting Lisa.

  3. My parents never really explained much of anything to us so we all made very poor choices on the limited knowledge that we had as children.

    Now that I’m supposed to be all grown up, I’ve still made a lot of bad choices to say the least.

    I’m hoping and praying that I can change things in the very near future for the better. We’ll just have to wait and see.

    1. Randy I am sure you’ll be amongst the many of us who have had the same problems growing up. Our generation rarely got the support we needed as children.

      The first step in changing anything is recognising the need for that change and you have already done that.

      I am sure that things will change for the better for you.

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