I was never allowed to make any of my own choices or decisions growing up, so I’ve had to learn as the adult how to do those.
Making any kind of choice or decision takes confidence and the mental ability for us to work through the consequences on some of those decisions. Making good initial choices will allow us to make better decisions.
The following suggestions may help:
- Encourage children to make their own decisions by giving them two or three choices to choose from;
- When children understand the basis of their choices, they will understand and begin to work through them effortlessly;
- Once they’ve learned the technique, allow them to make a decision.
A good starting point would be to teach children about values, because values form the foundations for some of our choices. If adults struggle with choices, their children may struggle too.
Without knowing right from wrong, children will also struggle. For example, if a child throws an innate object at another child and that child gets hurt, then that decision is wrong. Children need to know and be shown when they do something wrong.
It’s important to discuss the merits of making certain decisions based around our choices. I believe that when we know what we want, we are usually confident about making our decisions, based on those initial choices.
That as long as parents continue to teach and point things out around their children’s choices, they will eventually learn how to make choices that will benefit them and with the right encouragement they will be successful.
Sadly, my choices were always those that fell into line with what my parents wanted. The lesson here is make sure the choices you make are for yourself.