Making good choices

I was never allowed to make any of my own choices or decisions growing up, so I’ve had to learn as the adult how to do those.

Making any kind of choice or decision takes confidence and the mental ability for us to work through the consequences on some of those decisions. Making good initial choices will allow us to make better decisions.

The following suggestions may help:

  • Encourage children to make their own decisions by giving them two or three choices to choose from;
  • When children understand the basis of their choices, they will understand and begin to work through them effortlessly;
  • Once they’ve learned the technique, allow them to make a decision.

A good starting point would be to teach children about values, because values form the foundations for some of our choices. If adults struggle with choices, their children may struggle too.

Without knowing right from wrong, children will also struggle. For example, if a child throws an innate object at another child and that child gets hurt, then that decision is wrong. Children need to know and be shown when they do something wrong.

It’s important to discuss the merits of making certain decisions based around our choices. I believe that when we know what we want, we are usually confident about making our decisions, based on those initial choices.

That as long as parents continue to teach and point things out around their children’s choices, they will eventually learn how to make choices that will benefit them and with the right encouragement they will be successful.

Sadly, my choices were always those that fell into line with what my parents wanted. The lesson here is make sure the choices you make are for yourself.

22 Sep, 2011

10 thoughts on “Making good choices

  1. My sister in law did this with her children. She gave them a choice and told them what would happen with each choice.

    I think this made them strong at a early age, which is a good thing.

  2. A friend of mine gave me a paper called ‘self-control’ and on it was 3 questions. “Stop, think, what will happen if you do this and lastly Is this what you want to happen?”

    She has been using it with her 4 year-old and it works sometimes with him, but it makes sense. I always tried to help my kids make the right decision by giving them choices too.

    I also think they should learn this life lesson when they are young. It’ll go a long way when they are older.

    1. I would imagine that the self control paper would work in some situations, but perhaps wouldn’t work in all situations.

      I do agree that the younger children are encouraged to make good choices, the easier it is for them when they’re older. Thanks for posting Lisa.

  3. My parents never really explained much of anything to us so we all made very poor choices on the limited knowledge that we had as children.

    Now that I’m supposed to be all grown up, I’ve still made a lot of bad choices to say the least.

    I’m hoping and praying that I can change things in the very near future for the better. We’ll just have to wait and see.

    1. Randy I am sure you’ll be amongst the many of us who have had the same problems growing up. Our generation rarely got the support we needed as children.

      The first step in changing anything is recognising the need for that change and you have already done that.

      I am sure that things will change for the better for you.

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