Making myself stronger

I love the fact that my website and my book have made me stronger. Talking about my experiences in self-contained spaces that feel safe has changed my life.

Although my life has culminated in some bitter experiences, they have enabled me to unravel my thoughts, so I am able to be more positive. Through writing, my thoughts and feelings have enabled me to let go of other people’s guilt, as I have got to know me and my disability.

As a child, I hated looking at my leg and a foot that was different to my other one. I also hated the fact that when I was straight, I was lopsided. Yes, hate is right, but wrong in so many ways. Living inside my head for as many years as I have, I began to see and think differently about myself.

Living with something I didn’t know I had, gave me hope that each day I would get better. Making myself stronger has made things easier. Understanding my physical, mental and emotional disability, has allowed me to come to terms with my disability and some of my experiences.

But when it comes to a disability, it’s never about us, but others who choose to inflict their guilt on us. I see and think differently now, because looking at myself without shoes and socks on, I no longer hate looking back at my disability in the mirror.

25 Feb, 2020

4 thoughts on “Making myself stronger

  1. Ilana, I love that you no longer hate looking back at your disability in the mirror, how sweet that is. I can feel the power in you.

    Thank you for paving the way for those of us with doubts and challenges.

    1. Thank you and thank you for your support also. It’s been a long journey, but one if I had my time I would take again. I needed to know about my disability.

      I’ve not only learned about myself through the process, but learned more about others and how we cannot allow their decisions or opinions of us, to change us.

      Innately I always had strong beliefs that my time would come and all I wanted to know was ‘what was wrong with me.’ But ‘my story’ shows that good does come to those who wait. Yes, I was an angry child and that wasn’t easy for my family, but they needed to understand my anger.

      But where there is anger there is a clear issue. The mental and emotional issues around my disability should have been addressed.

  2. Through your blog and book, you have changed your life and as a consequence you have made yourself stronger and we have learned that we can too.

    That is a powerful thing you have achieved.

    1. Thanks. Yes, I wish I could see and feel what you tell me I’ve done, but sadly I don’t. I shall hold your comments close.

      I see it as a journey that needed to be taken, I’m just pleased I’ve been strong enough to take it and come through the other end. That was important to me.

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