The more I delve into my neurological impairments, the more I become demoralised. There is no doubt I got a raw deal.
Since all feelings, emotions and dreams stem from the cerebral cortex and mine is extensively damaged, I can’t feel my emotions. Instead, I work with my intuition and that helps me understand what I see.
Because my brain doesn’t process feelings in the normal way, I also struggle to control emotions like fear. Because the part of my brain that should help me control and manage those feelings doesn’t work, I’m on my own until the issue corrects itself, or I find a way through.
I know how fear makes me feel, but unless I can find a way to manage and control what I feel, the fear I feel takes control. That would explain why as a child I struggled with shifting bad thoughts.
The sad reality is that where family could have helped with my issues, particularly my parents, I was left to work things out on my own. Had questions been asked, my parents would have known why I struggled to take things like bad thoughts away. I still struggle today.
The part I struggle with the most, is having my issues ignored. Being misunderstood because of a lack of ignorance doesn’t always rest easy. I must find a way for it to rest better.