Misguided assumptions

It’s funny how people will comment about a child’s success and then query at the same time how it’s even possible given the child’s parentage.

Just because parents don’t always have the right opportunities, doesn’t mean they are any less clever than their children. Some children are lucky to have the right opportunities afforded to them in life, but others aren’t always so lucky.

As a society, we tend to judge people on what we see, but don’t always know the full facts as to why that person hasn’t been successful. We also assume wrongly that if the parents aren’t successful, their children won’t be either. Nine times out of ten we won’t know what someone goes through, but that doesn’t stop us from making inaccurate judgments.

I know in my own case, I didn’t have the opportunities or the guidance, but it didn’t mean I was any less capable. My site has proved that. I have more than gone on to prove that I am. I also remember a friend in school who just couldn’t get to grips with the concept of school.

In those days, you were form graded and he always seemed to come bottom. Years later I heard he went on to become a teacher. He clearly was capable, didn’t peak at the same time as his peers did and had been written off by his teachers. I think it’s sad that we judge people on ability instead of circumstances.

It’s also sad that we judge people on their parentage without knowing the full story, or at being surprised at a child’s success when their parents haven’t been. There is always a reason.

I think we shouldn’t draw conclusions or write anyone off; it’s simply not our place.


12 Mar, 2013

4 thoughts on “Misguided assumptions

  1. I agree with you. Just because the parents didn’t have it together doesn’t mean the child will be the same way. How about the parents parents? How do we know if they were successful or not. We don’t most of the time.

    Some things can be genetically passed on, but I believe you are successful if you want to be. You just have to have the will power and drive to be. Both my parents were successful. They both had great jobs and they were good caring people. Well known in the community even though we weren’t rich we didn’t need for anything.

    I had the opportunity to do anything I wanted. My parents would have helped me do whatever I wanted but I didn’t have the determination to do anything until I was older. I didn’t apply myself in school like I should have.

    I goofed off most of the time. Made passing grades only. I was judged by others due to my illness. It wasn’t my parents fault I didn’t succeed early in life and it’s not due to them I have had a successful career in nursing now.

    1. I love the fact that you were aware of your own misgivings as a child. It’s just sad that you were judged by others because of your illness. You did, however, go on to prove that when you applied yourself you could achieve what you set out to achieve.

      It’s a shame people judge on our misgivings and why, rather than looking at the bigger picture. Had they have seen the bigger picture of what you dealt with as a child, they will have realised you were dealing with an illness that impacted your life. That will have changed everything.

  2. I think you are so right in saying that you should not draw conclusions on a person without knowing how smart they are. For instance my mom who only had an eighth grade education is far smarter than that. She is the sounding ground for her children.

    My brother who is a psychology and finance major, always runs things by her before making a final decision. She is very seasoned in a lot of things and is very smart in her own right; very level headed and sees things from all sides.

    Had my grandfather given her a chance to follow her dreams, she would have been quite the scholar. She reads a lot and through life lessons has become quite the intelligent woman, who gives the best advice to all that will listen.

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