Moral codes

There are no guarantees the moral codes we teach our children will be used by them as adults. The hard part for any parent is standing back, whilst they watch their child live their lives differently. As a child, I innately knew how to behave.

Morality is usually passed on through the generations and is self-taught. It’s not something we need an education for, anyone can learn about morality; we must continue to keep an open mind on individual circumstances, instead of making broad assumptions. There is no reason why we can’t think about and use morality for ourselves; it just takes practice.

The world is changing and so is morality. There is an art to expression and an art to understanding how to use morality. It has become too easy for people to assume and demand, without giving consideration to the way they ask and speak to others.

When I was growing up, respect and morality was something we grasped diligently. We sponged it up. It was almost expected of us that we would live our lives with the same values as our parents and grandparents. Morality isn’t about education, it’s about understanding, a place, an acceptance that we will work and live with morality.

Morality if continually practised will bring about a sense of calm, a sense of peace and a sense of belonging, it isn’t really here now. As children grow now, technology has become their main focus as they continue to keep pace with what’s going on around them.

If children don’t use morality, their peers won’t either. Peer pressure changes how children function. It is sad, but even more frustrating for the parents.

31 May, 2013

6 thoughts on “Moral codes

  1. Wow, great post. You made me remember my grandparents ad how moral they were and my parents.

    I grew up in a very moral family and I loved that I did. My grandparents always did the right thing, were pleasant to everyone and kind to all. They would offer a meal to a stranger. I yearn for those times again, sometimes when things were simpler.

    People respected their elders and other people. Families were the main thing going on then. I think that’s what is wrong with society today. Family don’t mean as much as it did then. Everybody leaves home and moves away from family.

    I also think for our children’s generation to have morality, the parents have to have morality and show it so their children will learn it from them. I learned from my parents and grandparents because they had it.

    Today’s generation don’t have any moral standards I don’t think. Even though my children were raised with morals that my husband and I have, they still chose to go against some of them and my husband and I went against some of our parents morals.

    I think the love of a close family is important in teaching our children morals also.

    1. I never chose to go against my parents’ morals, partly because I was a pleasing child and partly because I had no choice.

      I think it’s fine for us to find our own niche for a little while, because we have to experience our lives for ourselves, find out what makes us, us. I also believe that even when we go away from any moral code for a short while there is no long term harm done. As long as the foundations are in place, we’ll always go back to them.

      As you’ve said Lisa you chose to go against your parents, but you’ve come back to them. Having our own children tends to bring them back.

      I do agree with you Lisa that families do things differently. I feel that too, although I believe that if we get things right with them for ourselves when they’ve matured and been out and experienced life for themselves, they will always want to come back, but this time with their own families in tow.

      That’s when you’ll know what you’ve done has worked.

  2. I believe morality based education should be a curriculum requirement in educational systems today, but teaching morality in our publicly correct environment may prove controversial. The deteriorating moral condition in society is quite evident and requires urgent attention; families can’t do it alone.

    When I was growing up, respect and morality played a significant role in our youth culture. I remember how we had the uttermost respect for adults at all times, at least most of us did. In my generation, there were consequences for breaking the moral code. My mother’s spankings were convincing enough.

    Great Post.

    1. I agree that institutions should play more of a role, but I would address spiritually more than morality. Morality should start at home with family. I know the previous generations worked on morality and it worked beautifully back then. I think families were more close knit back then and grandparents had more of a role than they do today, although some grandparents take an active role today.

      As you say Tim, youth culture also played it’s part in morality when you were growing up. People and families had more time back then. I think more of us should make time now. I also feel that children are inclined to spend more time with their friends than they do with their families, but that parents have given them more free reign to do it, because they have less time.

      Morality worked back then. With a little more commitment I am sure morality would work again.

  3. Moral codes aren’t really something that I learned from my parents, but from way too many outside sources which led to a very fractured mindset! I always say that we were pretty much thrown to the wolves as children, left to fend for our survival without any real moral compass to guide us.

    My Mother was very controlling and demanded complete loyalty to her wishes even when it meant punishing my father or siblings in the process!(She really could have worked for the CIA since she was so good at brainwashing!)

    My strongest examples of having any moral code came from the ‘Knight in shining armor’ stories and comics about superheroes. My biggest weakness was battling with inner demons that were in direct opposition to these moral codes which destroyed me when I was too young to understand what was happening.

    I turned to alcohol and drugs to escape from my inner torture only to find out they made things so much worse.
    I’m trying to paraphrase the story but people will get the general idea. I made too many life decisions based on doing what others expected of me rather than fight for what I truly believed in! When I look back I realize I have been subconsciously punishing myself for my mistakes.

    Now I have to work on picking up what pieces I can find and rebuild what I can of myself and my life while I still have time!

    1. I completely understand where you’re coming from. You must have been through some very traumatic times.

      When that happens, we paint pictures in our mind of a perfect world around perfect things that aren’t what we’re having to deal with in our reality… it’s a form of escapism. I can also understand why you turned to drugs and alcohol but am pleased you’ve turned your past on them now.

      I’m here to help support you. You deserve to have peace in your life. Everyone does.

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