More pieces to the jigsaw

When it comes to us having and dealing with a disability, it’s important we understand our symptoms and how we present.

I am reading a book written by a parent and physician of a child with autism and it’s clear that some of my symptoms fit ASD (“Autism Spectrum Disorder.”) Some of my other symptoms also fit Asperger’s and since Asperger’s is on the autism spectrum that would make perfect sense.

In a way I feel calm about it because it’s more than I’ve had and that ticks another box for me. It also reminds me that although my struggles were always being made about me, they were actually about everyone else instead.

For years, it felt such a heavy burden, because no one owned up or came forward to even talk about my disability or struggles, or how my symptoms even presented. But my beliefs are strong enough for me to understand the bigger picture of how the universe sees responsibility and blame, and why I am now exonerated.

I have to continue to piece my symptoms to my co-occurring disorders that form part of the original cerebral palsy diagnosis as best I can. I may at some point go and get some help from an autism adult specialist. It’ll be much quicker that way.


4 Sep, 2018

6 thoughts on “More pieces to the jigsaw

  1. Just so many pieces to the puzzle and it does help to know what all the pieces are.

    It made so much sense after I was diagnosed with ADHD when I went to the psychologist, wondering more about a TBI from the many head injuries I had received.

    It’s great that you have been able to make a lot more sense of your situation, seeing as your parents ignored your issues just like my parents ignored mine. It ends up making you feel like it’s something you’ve done wrong, when it’s not.

    I’m guessing there are more issues I may not know about yet, but I’m thinking that my friend’s guess of a dependent personality disorder may be the one that I need to deal with.

    One guy used to feel ‘relationship challenged,’ which may be the biggest hurdle that I need to get over.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, relationships are challenging, even more so when it comes to someone in the relationship having a condition or a disability.

      It may be worth doing your own research into what you deal with, or try to find someone who can help you shed light on your own experiences with your condition.

      Whilst you don’t quite understand your symptoms, those around you won’t understand either, but you will still have your struggles to deal with and that will impact your relationship. That’s when you may start to feel you’re ‘relationship challenged.’ I struggle with that through my own disability.

      You’ll feel better when you’re not fumbling around in the dark because of your lack of understanding on what you deal with.

  2. This is quite some jigsaw but the burden was never yours to carry, but those who hid so many of the pieces from you.

    You are completing the puzzle calmly and with resilience, one piece at a time. It’s going to be some picture when it’s all done.

    1. Thank you. Yes, I am. I still have a little way to go, but feel there’s more of a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

      The universe has and continues to conspire to help me. It’s telling those responsible this particular issue was never supposed to be kept secret.

  3. Your life may change directions but you keep moving forward, simply because you’re solution driven. You probably feel the fight in your flesh.

    I hope you don’t mind if I tag along to solve the puzzles with you.

    1. Thanks Tim. I absolutely love that you’re tagging along to help me solve the puzzles of my life.

      The fight was there when I was a child, but being inquisitive and living with a disability I didn’t know I had, made me even more determined.

      I believe my life was meant to happen in this way. I couldn’t do what I do without the life I’ve had. I’m comfortable with my disability now.

      It would be helpful if others felt more relaxed around my disability that means they would be more tolerant on how I present.

      Having this gift to do what I do, for me doesn’t get any better.

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