I sometimes think that living with Cerebral Palsy is like living behind a mask. Only someone with Cerebral palsy will truly understand what that means.
It’s so difficult for me to work through my day without feeling as though everything is a chore. I periodically switch off to my leg spasms when I’m tired. I find it difficult to work conversations and periodically find myself switching off, or have difficulty connecting in the first place. All that does is frustrate my family even more.
I get to that point, where I physically cannot move or motivate myself. I think generally because of the lack of understanding of what I go through; it’s very easy for others to comment or feel they know how someone like me would feel. I generally remain upbeat, focused and positive more times than I’m not, but feel that I’m on my own most of the time.
It’s very hard for me to continually motivate myself, but that’s what I try to do. As a child growing up with no support that is exactly what I had to do, but the older I get the more challenged, all of this becomes. Emotionally it’s hard to switch off from the psychological problems associated with the condition.
There are days I feel I’m done with it, then I refocus and I’m back dealing with my thoughts again. It’s a challenge being challenged. I tend to need to keep working at it. It’s beginning to tire me out, it’s also a constant chore.