More thoughts on my CP

I sometimes think that living with Cerebral Palsy is like living behind a mask. Only someone with Cerebral palsy will truly understand what that means.

It often becomes difficult for me to work through my day without feeling as though everything is a chore. I find it difficult to partake in conversations, particularly where more than one person is speaking. I often find myself switching off and all that does is frustrate me because I want to do what others do.

I think generally because of the lack of understanding of what I go through, it’s very easy for others to comment or feel they know how I feel. Generally, I try to remain upbeat, focused and positive, but it’s also very easy to feel I’m emotionally on my own sometimes.

It’s also very hard for me to motivate myself and although I manage, the older I get the more of a challenge it becomes. Emotionally, I find it hard to switch off from the psychological problems associated with the condition.

There are days I feel I’m done with it that Cerebral Palsy isn’t my friend, then I refocus again and things seem okay for a short while. It’s a challenge being challenged. The whole Cerebral Palsy thing is a chore.

2 Sep, 2011

4 thoughts on “More thoughts on my CP

  1. Because growing up I was always around kids that were able bodied and I was always the one who had CP, I suppose people got used to it.

    People that have known me for years forget I have a disability because I do not let the disability define who I am. I just get on with living my life. CP is just part of what makes me me. There are a lot of other factors that make me who I am.

    Sure I struggle but most people with or without a disability struggle from time to time. That is what life is all about. It is overcoming those struggles that makes life interesting and rewarding if you can do it. Stay positive and you can do anything.

    1. There is an element of truth in what you say Randy, but these are not my experiences. I think the positive role model you had from your mother made the belief in you stronger, which meant you could go out and live your life with cerebral palsy and that has made a big difference in your attitude.

      There is an element of acceptance from some people, but not all people are ready to accept what we deal with. You were lucky in many respects. There is still prejudice out there as far as disability is concerned.

      This is all so different for me. You had a completely different upbringing, I muddled through mine. I am pleased for you though.

  2. I agree it is difficult for someone without CP to fully understand what it is truly like. It is an important part of what makes you, you.

    I doubt that you would be doing so much to help others had you not found out about your CP and that should help you through difficult times.

    1. I think you’re right. I probably wouldn’t be running The CP Diary. It has made me who I am today and am humbled by the site’s success; but dealing with CP doesn’t come without its problems.

      I think if there was more understanding I would be better equipped to deal with all that I deal with, without feeling as though I am being judged all the time.

      If I’d had the support too that would also have helped me cope better, through its ups and downs.

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