I sometimes think that living with cerebral palsy is like living behind a mask. Only someone with cerebral palsy will understand what that means.
It is difficult for me to work through each day without feeling as though everything is a chore. I find it difficult to be present in long conversations and will periodically find myself switching off, or have difficulty connecting and hearing in the first place. That frustrates me even more.
Because there is a lack of understanding of what I go through, it’s easy for others to comment. I try to remain upbeat, focused and positive more times than I’m not, but I still feel I’m on my own most of the time.
It is very hard for me to motivate myself, and the older I get, the more challenged all of this becomes. Emotionally, I find it hard to switch off from the psychological problems associated with the condition.
There are days when I have to force myself to refocus again so that I can psychologically move forward from all the negativity, but I know I will have to go back to deal with the same thoughts until such a time I feel stronger.
It’s a challenge being challenged. The whole cerebral palsy thing tires me out and it’s a constant chore.