Moving beyond denial

With so many people around me and who are in denial, they have taught me a different way to be. Funnily enough, my life tends to work that way.

The problem is that when we’re around those who are unable to accept an issue or situation and instead choose denial, it makes it more difficult for those who are willing to move beyond denial and deal with their issues.

When no one talks or scoots around an issue from the past, the problem usually gets brushed until it gets addressed. That is what so many of us don’t understand about our experiences.

Remember:

  • There will always be negative repercussions to denial, particularly if the issues that need to be dealt with are health related;
  • Talk to someone close about how you feel;
  • Denial is usually fed by our irrational beliefs. Try to identify what those irrational beliefs are so you can work to change them;
  • If you find it hard to talk to someone, perhaps write your thoughts down.

I have seen first hand what living in denial does. Denial creates a different situation or thought process to the we’ve experienced. Denial should only ever be used as a temporary measure.

From experience, denial can never change the reality of the issues we need to address; it just puts those issues on the back burner until we decide to deal with them.

 


9 Oct, 2012

8 thoughts on “Moving beyond denial

  1. I’ve been trawling your website the past few days, absorbing myself in your articles!

    It’s so great to read how far you’ve come, I can’t imagine how hard it must have been growing up around denial especially family, but to see how positive you are today, is truly inspiring!

    Random question but; could you describe yourself in a few words?

    The reason I ask, is that a lot of people with CP that I’ve talked to, let their CP define them, rather than all their other great attributes.

    1. Ben, I’m flattered. No-one has ever asked me to describe myself in a few words, but I wouldn’t want to come across as being big headed! It’s a simple question but a really good one, because it makes us look at ourselves objectively.

      I believe I am compassionate, kind, considerate, caring and helpful. I live along side CP… it’s a part of my life but I definitely don’t let it define me.

      I suppose not knowing for 46 years that I had it meant that did anything but define me.

      Welcome to the site.

      1. Haha reading that again, I probably coud have worded that better.

        That was far from big-headed. Very honest and objective, I love it!

        We really do need to be able to objectively look at ourselves, otherwise subjectively it’s quite easy to focus negatively on the CP, been there done that and it’s not fun.

        We have travelled such different paths, but it’s so refreshing that we both have similar feelings towards our CP.

        Playing CP soccer the past 12 years, I have come across lots of people living with CP and too many (me included) let it define them, it’s very sad!

        I look forward to your future articles!

        Ben

  2. I agree that denial isn’t the thing to do, especially when it comes to our health.

    Nurses are some of the first people to deny that they are having a heart attack, then it happens and it’s almost too late.

    When we deny our health, we are being selfish to others who care about us.

    1. I agree with you on your last sentence Lisa. Very true.

      Denial hurts us in more ways then we know, which is why it’s always better to move beyond it where we can.

  3. This is kind of funny, because I spent a lot of time looking for the necessary balance between not defining myself as a CP girl and not denying it and sometimes it is still hard.

    I guess it’s a day-by-day challenge. 🙂

    1. Thanks Maylis. I agree with you. It’s definitely harder when we deal with something like CP, I know where you’re coming from but we have to find a balance.

      I have never defined myself with CP, but that’s because I was late in finding out I had it. Living in denial full time would make my life almost impossible, because I’d end up dealing with nothing.

      I also believe we would also give up on so many opportunities, but most of all we would give up on any chance of bringing peace into our lives and being at peace with what we deal with.

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