I know my mum’s illness brought her to a place where she knew she could intimate about my disability with no recourse to herself. I never consciously made the connections with her words, but that’s all it would take for my journey to begin.
I remember thinking at the time it seemed a little odd and out of character for her, it was as if she was trying to unburden herself. Now with the bigger picture in front of me that is exactly what she was trying to do.
She knew about my disability but was never in a position to be able to do anything about it. She simply bided her time until she knew she could. I never consciously honed in on it because there would simply have been no point.
Therefore, mum telling me ‘it was a difficult birth’ was her being able to bring my disability into the equation for the first time. It’s something I’ve now had to accept, but I know she never gave up trying.