My Anxiety strain

I am high risk coronavirus because I have cerebral palsy. I also deal with and have to manage autism and anxiety which is often made worse when I have no control over things like lock down and COVID_19.

The virus according to Dr David Nabarro via @Twitter, the WHO’s special envoy has warned that COVID_19 may be a constant threat, as potential vaccine research continues. His words also echo the words of deputy chief medical officers in England and Ireland.

That puts a strain on my anxiety. When I know something ends, it takes the edge off my issues or struggles. I need to pull back, so that I’m only thinking about or dealing with one thing at a time. My head is constantly in overdrive.

My doctor should have sent me a letter at the beginning of lock-down confirming I am high risk and asking me to stay indoors and self-isolate. It’s something else that has been ignored. I am tired of the catalogue of abuse.

History has again repeated itself. I need to think about placing a call with my doctor. Yes, I still can’t believe I’m here AGAIN.


20 May, 2020

2 thoughts on “My Anxiety strain

  1. Lately, I’ve been reading The CP diary with my whole body, because this site is truly a blessing during these uncertain times. I lean on it, I lean on you. I hope I’m not too heavy, Ilana.

    But I really do think it’s time that you lean on us for a change. Whatever your underlying feelings are, we have your back. You have shown us that there’s love in this crisis.

    1. I love the fact that you have been reading ‘The CP Diary.’ It comforts me knowing that you are. No, you’re not too heavy!

      Your words today, remind me that as you find solitude in my words, my experiences haven’t been in vain. I have been able to put them to good use.

      Having autism means it is difficult for me to equate anything beyond my thoughts and given the pandemic, I am continually invisibly exposed to negative thinking, through autism and the government’s bad handling, around the pandemic.

      I know had there been clarity for me growing up and the mental and emotional support, I would have understood myself more. Had those networks of support been in place, I would have been more equipped now.

      My blog not only rights many wrongs, but brings comfort and understanding to many of my experiences. In times like these, I rely on it even more. It is a place where I can write where I am guaranteed a voice.

      Like you, it is also my go to place. Your being active and responding on my blogs, means you are my support. I love that. Thank you.

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