When I found out about cerebral palsy, I wanted to do something positive for the first time. I’m not really sure why I thought about a website, apart from the fact that it seemed like a positive thing to do.
With my diagnosis, I could start researching and writing about my disability. Recently diagnosed with autism, I must do the same, so I can understand and come to terms with my neurological difficulties.
Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and autism in my fifties isn’t how I wanted my life to play out, that side has been enormously difficult; but I now know why my life had to happen like that. I have always known there was more to my problems than what you could physically see. It was important I found out.
Being able to see everything in black and white is a gift. It allows me to see issues and situations as they are, rather than how I would like them to be.
Because of my damaged brain and heightened senses, I see things from a totally different perspective and although that is hard in terms of communication and social acceptance, I have become more accepting of myself and therefore don’t always feel I need to fit in.
My writing and blogging is also a gift. I am able to do what I do because I have autism. Although I find it difficult to express my thoughts verbally and relate those back to people, I have no problem expressing my thoughts on paper and online, on my blog.
Uniquely, even as a child it was a gift that was with me. I didn’t know it then, but it is a part of me now and I love it.