My Autism is a gift

Just under 9 years ago, having just found out about cerebral palsy I started writing about my disability. I’m having to do the same with my recently diagnosed Autism, just so I can understand and come to terms with my neurological symptoms.

Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and Autism in my 50’s isn’t how I wanted my life to play out, it’s been enormously difficult, but I know why my life had to happen like that. I’ve always known there was more to me than just what you could see physically, but it was important I knew everything about my disability.

My seeing everything in black and white is my gift. It allows me to see issues and situations as they are, rather than how I would like them to be and as long I don’t sit on issues, it helps me address those things.

Because my brain is damaged, I get to see things from a totally different perspective and although that can be hard in terms of social acceptance of me and communication, I don’t feel I need to fit in because I have become more accepting of myself.

In terms of my writing and blogging, I couldn’t do either without Autism. I am able to do what I do because I have Autism. Although I find it difficult to express what I feel verbally, through my thoughts on paper, I am completely free to express those thoughts.

Uniquely, even as a child it is a gift that has always been with me, I just didn’t know it then. But it’s a part of me now and I love it.

3 Mar, 2019

4 thoughts on “My Autism is a gift

  1. Now you have your diagnosis, I believe you are right in saying your Autism is a gift. You simply couldn’t do what you do without your Autism and I believe you were chosen for this path.

    You can now make sense of your life and not many of us can say that with honesty.

  2. Knowing is half the battle. This is what I have come to believe. I refused to want to admit that I had any issues, let alone accepting any of them.

    I’m still not there, as far as being able to see any of my issues as a gift, but I imagine that one day I will. I also have a very difficult time expressing myself verbally, but find it so much easier when I’m writing it down.

    I grew up in a world where we always had to be careful of what we said, so it’s no wonder I get so nervous and tongue tied when I try talking to people.

    It will probably help me out tremendously when I’m no longer forced to deal with someone who actually thinks that I choose to be the way I am, when nobody in their right mind would ever want to be this way on purpose.

    1. Thanks Randy. I agree with you. No one would choose to be a certain way if they could do things that were easier, and we’re able to live an easier life.

      The more we deal with our issues and put those issues behind us, the more we will see what we’ve achieved as a gift, even if the gift isn’t specific.

      But through all that we deal with I still believe we owe it to ourselves to put ourselves in a much better emotional space.

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