Just under 9 years ago, having just found out about cerebral palsy I started writing about my disability. I’m having to do the same with my recently diagnosed Autism, just so I can understand and come to terms with my neurological symptoms.
Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and Autism in my 50’s isn’t how I wanted my life to play out, it’s been enormously difficult, but I know why my life had to happen like that. I’ve always known there was more to me than just what you could see physically, but it was important I knew everything about my disability.
My seeing everything in black and white is my gift. It allows me to see issues and situations as they are, rather than how I would like them to be and as long I don’t sit on issues, it helps me address those things.
Because my brain is damaged, I get to see things from a totally different perspective and although that can be hard in terms of social acceptance of me and communication, I don’t feel I need to fit in because I have become more accepting of myself.
In terms of my writing and blogging, I couldn’t do either without Autism. I am able to do what I do because I have Autism. Although I find it difficult to express what I feel verbally, through my thoughts on paper, I am completely free to express those thoughts.
Uniquely, even as a child it is a gift that has always been with me, I just didn’t know it then. But it’s a part of me now and I love it.