My autism is a gift

When I found out about cerebral palsy, I wanted to do something positive for the first time. I’m not really sure why I thought about a website, apart from the fact that it seemed like a positive thing to do.

With my diagnosis, I could start researching and writing about my disability. Recently diagnosed with autism, I must do the same, so I can understand and come to terms with my neurological difficulties.

Finding out about cerebral palsy in my forties and autism in my fifties isn’t how I wanted my life to play out, that side has been enormously difficult; but I now know why my life had to happen like that. I have always known there was more to my problems than what you could physically see. It was important I found out.

Being able to see everything in black and white is a gift. It allows me to see issues and situations as they are, rather than how I would like them to be.

Because of my damaged brain and heightened senses, I see things from a totally different perspective and although that is hard in terms of communication and social acceptance, I have become more accepting of myself and therefore don’t always feel I need to fit in.

My writing and blogging is also a gift. I am able to do what I do because I have autism. Although I find it difficult to express my thoughts verbally and relate those back to people, I have no problem expressing my thoughts on paper and online, on my blog.

Uniquely, even as a child it was a gift that was with me. I didn’t know it then, but it is a part of me now and I love it.

3 Mar, 2019

4 thoughts on “My autism is a gift

  1. Now you have your diagnosis, I believe you are right in saying your Autism is a gift. You simply couldn’t do what you do without your Autism and I believe you were chosen for this path.

    You can now make sense of your life and not many of us can say that with honesty.

  2. Knowing is half the battle. This is what I have come to believe. I refused to want to admit that I had any issues, let alone accepting any of them.

    I’m still not there, as far as being able to see any of my issues as a gift, but I imagine that one day I will. I also have a very difficult time expressing myself verbally, but find it so much easier when I’m writing it down.

    I grew up in a world where we always had to be careful of what we said, so it’s no wonder I get so nervous and tongue tied when I try talking to people.

    It will probably help me out tremendously when I’m no longer forced to deal with someone who actually thinks that I choose to be the way I am, when nobody in their right mind would ever want to be this way on purpose.

    1. Thanks Randy. I agree with you. No one would choose to be a certain way if they could do things that were easier, and we’re able to live an easier life.

      The more we deal with our issues and put those issues behind us, the more we will see what we’ve achieved as a gift, even if the gift isn’t specific.

      But through all that we deal with I still believe we owe it to ourselves to put ourselves in a much better emotional space.

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