My autism meltdowns

This was on my mind today. Having autism means there may always be an issue that’s not easily resolved that tips me mentally over the edge.

Also dealing with anxiety means it’s easier for me to have meltdowns, particularly when it comes to me struggling to cope with an issue or situation that someone else sees as normal. My thinking has never been normal, around what my brain sees as intense responses to overwhelming situations. Those I fail to cope with every time.

For those of us who get to deal with meltdowns, rather than others judge us, it’s important they help us identify and minimise our meltdown frequencies. Our behaviour around autism will always make sense to us in the context of our experiences of the world and how our brain interprets what we see, but to others we’re seen as being intense.

When it comes to others dealing with us, they may interpret or assign meaning to our behaviour based on what our behaviour would mean were they engaged in our behaviour, but they will always arrive at the wrong conclusions thinking we’ve misinterpreted our circumstances wrongly.

It’s not just an issue that creates my meltdowns. A meltdown by definition can occur by my routine simply being out of order. Because of autism everything I do must follow in its correct order. Through our presenting behaviour we’re often seen as intense, stubborn and un-cooperative.

What I’m simply trying to do is preserve my integrity in the predictable order of the world in the only context I have available to me through autism. But it’s easy for those without autism to judge us, based on their opinions and conclusions of us and that’s not right or fair.


26 Dec, 2018

2 thoughts on “My autism meltdowns

  1. I was able to see many of these meltdowns with my niece, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and somehow I instinctively knew what they were about.

    I guess being an empath I could tell what was really bothering her, even when others didn’t have a clue. People don’t have any idea of what happens and tend to be judgmental because they aren’t in your head.

    My sister tried very hard to understand and deal with her, but it didn’t help when my niece’s father was less than compassionate, when he had so many of the same issues himself.

    It would be nice if people at least try to be more understanding but that doesn’t seem to happen very often in this day and age.

    1. Thanks Randy. I think your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully and you’re right.

      I believe more people must be more understanding of mental health issues, particularly when it comes to a physical disability. It’s not like a broken arm or leg, where you can see the problem and empathise.

      The irony is I have always been this way, never understood why, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise or news. As you have used in your example with your niece, around autism we will always continue to struggle.

      Anyone who deals with a mental or physical disability need others to empathise and put us first.

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