My Birth Injury

I have never gone into detail around the issues surrounding my birth and why I sustained a brain injury, so perhaps now is a good time to talk about it.

Before my father passed, he mentioned he was at home when my mum went into labour. Although when I was born, fathers weren’t present when their wives were giving birth, mine was a multiple birth and that should have alarmed someone.

Also, mum telling me my birth was difficult birth, suggests giving birth for her met with difficulties. My father had asked for a consultant delivery.

Whilst my twin was born safely, mum got into difficulties at the time just before I was born and with my father not being at the hospital and the consultant or nursing staff not keeping an eye on mum, she got into difficultly and I went on to have a stroke, which could have completely been avoided.

Had my father been in the hospital and the nursing staff and consultant been checking on mum periodically throughout the procedure, I would have been safely delivered. Those are the facts.

Whilst I know this life was already mapped out for me and my disability already belonged to me, it doesn’t change how I feel about the years of struggles I was made to go through. My grief, makes me see everything clearer.

23 Aug, 2020

4 thoughts on “My Birth Injury

  1. It is very difficult to deal with and accept the facts when you think about how differently things could have been had people been paying attention.

    I find it hard to wrap my mind around how oblivious people were when, as parents, it doesn’t seem like it would so difficult to focus on taking care of your children’s needs, no matter what they were.

    My parents only noticed my problems when it affected their lives negatively and even then, they only did the bare minimum of what they needed to do to deal with them.

    It just would have been fantastic if, for both of our sakes, they would have attempted to try a little harder to help us deal with our issues, rather than pretending that they didn’t exist.

    Truly such a shame, seeing as our lives could have been so much better.

    1. Thanks Randy. It’s hard to equate how any of our lives turn out, it wouldn’t have been us, or our lives, we would have had to have had different parents.

      That said, I do think you’re right. As parents it is our job to help our children. We would all be better people, we’d more caring, compassionate, tolerant, observant and patient. The world would look and feel different.

      It’s not to say we neglect ourselves, it just means we prioritise other people’s needs and help where others might need it.

      Yes, how different our lives would have been.

      1. Such actions by the hospital during your delivery reveal gross negligence. That failure to provide reasonable care for your mum had a profound effect on your life, someone should have been held accountable. I flinch when I think about it.

        Still you survived with very little emotional guidance, raised beautiful children and became a successful author, most certainly a prolific writer. We’re proud of you, Ilana.

        1. Thanks for being proud Tim that means a lot. From where I was, to what I have managed to achieve is somewhat of a blur, I was mostly on auto-pilot.

          But if through 10 years of writing, my struggles help others identify and pin-point their own struggles, none of my experiences will have been in vain.

          I hope that didn’t sound too cliched it wasn’t meant to.

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