My cathartic book experience

Writing a book has been a cathartic experiences and the best thing I have ever done. Writing it has been easy because the words were just there, but it has brought in a different thinking from me.

What you write can either bring relief, or it can leave you clutching at your experiences with anger that your life turned out the way it did. The book has brought closure, but also regret that those who should have made a difference, didn’t.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. My inner thoughts got me through an unhappy and dysfunctional childhood. My daily conversation with the universe, although it brought some relief, sometimes brought disillusionment, because each day was the start of a new battle, which I mentally had to attune myself to.

Seeing my experiences unfold, confined to the book has allowed me to understand myself and my experiences with much more clarity. It has allowed me to explore my disability and bring understanding on what my neurological issues are. It has also brought about more understanding and clarity on the reasons behind why my disability was ignored.

It doesn’t change the facts behind the deed, but writing my book has allowed me to work through each individual experience so that I have the whole picture in front of me, for the first time. Without the book I could never have achieved this level of explanation and which is why writing it has been a cathartic experience.

It is because I have struggled so much that I have become an advocate of expression. It is important we get our thoughts out in a healthy, and appropriate way. It is important we are able to provide ourselves with psychological relief through expression. It is not only the right thing to do, but it is also healthier.

It doesn’t take away the injustice of what I was made to  go through, or what’s been done, nor does it take away others’ responsibility, they must all reconcile their part, but it does give me acceptance and closure on my disability.

15 Oct, 2019

6 thoughts on “My cathartic book experience

  1. Yes, I would imagine that writing your book has helped you bring you some sense of closure. I have been contemplating writing one of my own, which I should finally get around to doing, but I will have to overcome that fear that has kept me paralysed for most of my life.

    The reality is I’m not quite sure of where to begin, so I will probably just have to start writing and work on editing it later. The other issue is that I’m very unsure of the result, but there is only one way to find out.

    It would be fantastic if I was finally able to make some sense out of my life, and be able to become a productive member of society once again.

    1. Thanks Randy. It very much has. The process has given me closure, although, I am left me with one passing thought. I still find it hard to contemplate that these are my experiences.

      Sometimes just putting our thoughts down can be a big help, even if it doesn’t lead to publication. Having something down on paper and out of our head can and often does help. It is going through the writing process that makes us think about and explore our feelings.

  2. You deserve acceptance and closure on your struggles and others’ responsibility and contribution to those struggles.

    I can imagine writing your memoirs has been difficult at times, but a positive process that has enabled you to introspect and find a place for your experiences. I am looking forward to seeing it on the best sellers list.

    1. Thank you. Yes, I’ll be happy to see it in a book store, on a best sellers list, would be the icing on the cake!

      As I was writing my memoir I just couldn’t believe this was my life. I have struggled with disbelief over the years, I was still working on the same premise through the book. It’s not something you get over.

      I agree with you on closure and acceptance. Through my book I now have both.

  3. What an awesome accomplishment! You must have a feeling of being fulfilled, writing your book and telling your story. You no longer live in your head, Ilana.

    Depth, humility and compassion is how I would describe you if I didn’t know your name.

    1. Thanks Tim. I am happy to own depth, humility and compassion and have you bestow those on me. As a child I was paid no compliments.

      It has taken a long time to get to this stage. To know who I am and what I deal with for the first time, is priceless, truly.

      In the book I talk about hope. Hope is something I held on to since I was a small child and although I didn’t always hone in on hope, it never dwindled, but it is the reason I came through.

      Your statement, ‘you no longer live in your head, Ilana’ rings true. I spend my time outwardly talking about my experiences, so there is no real need for me to retreat to work through my issues.

      As a child it was my go to place, although I was also unaware of my struggles with autism. Another reason for me to retreat as a chid.

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