My Cerebral Cortex injury

There are still parts of the jigsaw that I’m dealing with that I’m trying to piece together, with regard to my Cerebral Palsy injury.

I continue to have to work out what my symptoms are, then equate those symptoms back to my neurological difficulties to work out the answers. Sounds simple, yet in reality it’s difficult, but I find a way. I know my Cerebral Cortex is extensively damaged and where the frontal lobe deals with emotions, personality, speech, body movement and decision making, through my intuition I compensate to make those work.

The frontal lobe, which contains the pre-frontal cortex, also plays a part in short and long term memory. Where my short term memory is very poor, my long term memory is excellent. I have problems with fine movements, arm strength and a problem with attention and memory. I also have extensive damage to the frontal lobe and that causes dramatic changes in social and emotional behaviour.

I tend to have to read situations and people. The right frontal lobe that deals with communication is also affected. Its function is to help comprehend communication by substituting or reinforcing verbal communication, regulate conversational flow and recognise other forms of communication including humour.

I have to compensate for those and others have difficulty with understanding and working around me. That’s where I tend to come unstuck.


22 Nov, 2016

6 thoughts on “My Cerebral Cortex injury

  1. People aren’t very often very understanding or sympathetic to your issues, I would imagine, mostly because they don’t have to deal with it themselves. This is what I have finally figured out is what happens with a lot of other issues like mental illnesses.

    It’s hard enough dealing with these issues, let alone dealing with the stigmas and ignorance that people so often have. You have what would be called a TBI, or traumatic brain injury, which wasn’t your fault and nothing you ever asked for. This is why I went for neuropsychological testing to see what issues I may be dealing with and she said I may actually have ADHD, which explains certain things.

    I may eventually have to go for more CAT scans or an MRI but I’m not sure what that would really show, anyway. I’m guessing this would be why I seem to have an instinctual knowledge of how to deal with people who have Cerebral Palsy and/or head injuries. I always seemed to somehow know what to do for my daughter, to help her do what she needed to do.

    She was definitely not stupid, which people seem to think about people who have Cerebral Palsy. My biggest regret has been that I didn’t deal with my own issues so I wasn’t able to be there for her in the ways that I wanted to be.

    I’m trying to figure out if I have symptoms of a TBI, considering what I went through as a child and the lack of medical care after the fact. My short term memory is very bad also, but I can remember things from when I was 2 years old. This is why I so often mean to comment, but then totally forget which is aggravating to put it mildly.

    My point being is that I seem to relate to your difficulties more than most. I seem to have a gift of being able to connect to people on a much deeper level than most, which people don’t believe in. I have been dealing with it since I was 3 years old, but it isn’t something you openly admit to, unless you want a long stay in a mental ward!

    I grew up with parents who both had serious mental health issues, so I desperately wanted to be nothing like them and actually was and so much worse. They never addressed any of their issues, let alone any of ours; so it’s amazing we all survived.

    I’m trying to deal with the wreckage of my past now, so that this horrific cycle can be broken before it’s too late.

    1. Thanks Randy. I think we’re not always in that place, so don’t feel bad. You know you would have done what you could have, had you felt better about things.

      I think the more we deal with, the more empathy we have towards other people. It’s a good way to be, although it’s easy to be taken advantage of because of how we are.

      Regardless of whether we understand what someone deals with, empathy goes a long way. We don’t have to walk a mile in another person’s shoes to understand. We just have to want to care and caring brings about empathy.

      You care Randy. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Hopefully your daughter will see and come to understand even if she doesn’t understand now. It often takes time.

  2. Unlike many of us Ilana, you were made strong and compassionate, stronger than a Cerebral Cortex injury and certainly more durable than most of us. You, somehow, stood in the face of adversity and made it clear that you are larger than what you deal with.

    Having said that, the upper half of you straddles the rest of you and us; how brilliant is that?

    1. Thanks Tim. That’s so kind of you to say. I must have been quietly determined not to let what I was dealing with get the better of me.

      It’s only when we’re at our weakest that we come to realise underneath we’re actually quite strong. Intuitively, my inner thoughts kept telling me I shouldn’t give up.

      The human spirit is stronger than reality sometimes. It’s resilient and helps us bounce back.

  3. It must be hard to still be piecing your life together around your Cerebral Palsy symptoms. It’s almost a voyage of self discovery that the rest of us take for granted.

    I’m sure you are best placed to identify and make sense of your brain damage, the Consultants can only go on text book diagnoses. You will prevail in your search for answers as you have come so far since your diagnosis.

    1. Thank you. It is. I feel as though I have come a long way already, but I can’t stop until I have all my answers.

      Because I am so aware of my symptoms, they’re easy for me to research. The hard and time consuming part is the research and marrying what I know together.

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