My day

Today I struggled with my Cerebral Palsy as we spent most of the day out of the hotel. We went to Torquay harbour, then drove to Paignton. I slept through most of both journeys and walked at snail’s pace round each harbour trying to keep up. I never make it obvious that I struggle, but the realisation of what I live with rests heavily sometimes.

When we came back to the hotel we rested a little, then everyone went swimming. I know swimming is good for me, but I’m not keen. Although I had so many people watch me as a child, it doesn’t feel like an issue now, because I don’t really care what people think about what they see, I just don’t like it. I usually find some other way to exercise. It got to the stage where I couldn’t be bothered to deal with other people’s ignorance.

Like the time when I had just come out of parents evening and Brad and I were one of the last parents to leave. As we were walking down the drive to the car, Claudia’s teacher unbeknown to me had been following us to the car park and stopped to ask what was wrong with me as I had been limping for most of the way.

I tend to reflect at what I could do if I didn’t have Cerebral Palsy, what I could wear. Claudia was wearing flip-flops and I just wished I could have worn them too. I want to be able to walk without getting tired, without tripping up, without struggling and without dragging myself along like I’m older than my years.

I know it isn’t going to happen, but I do reflect every now and again, but don’t see that as a bad thing. Some may see that as being negative, but I always take something positive from it. Like I managed to walk, I got to see Torquay and Paignton and I didn’t give up and go back to the car.

I packed myself off to bed early and left my family watching house. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open a minute longer. I was done for the day.


3 Aug, 2010

8 thoughts on “My day

  1. I understand about being tired. Some nights I just have to go and go to bed. It happened the other night when my brother’s family was here. I just had to bow out and go to bed, while everyone else was enjoying an outdoor fire. I was exhausted. I thankfully do not have trouble keeping up. But I hate swimming. I almost drowned three times in my life as a child. Not going for four.

  2. I hate when people ask “what’s wrong” or “what we did.”, Usually I don’t say much about it I’ve learned how to deal with that over the years but, it does still hit you.

    Personally, I love swimming. It was a struggle but I push myself. I’m always up for a challenge, just in my personality. I’m competitive and it’s definitely something that has helped me manage cp both for better and worse, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  3. LeAnna, it will always come down to cerebral palsy, or any other condition for that matter.

    I am pleased that you are up for a challenge and are competitive. You have proved to others that you are as good as they are and that whatever anyone has to deal with has nothing to do with disability, however large or small. I had too many things going on to overcome what I had to deal with as a child, so didn’t rise to the occasion as far as challenges were concerned.

    I’ve done a lot for myself in the last 4 years now and am happy with my achievements now..

  4. You know I know that tired feeling so much. Its good that you got out there and went swimming and the heck with what others think. Its thier ignorance. and Im glad you got to go tour around, and that you wasn’t to tired to do it. I hope the rest of your trip goes well. Hugs Lisa

    1. Got to tour, that was great! and slept a lot more than I would have done at home. But chilled nevertheless. Thanks Lisa.

  5. I used to think in exactly the same way. I think the lack of support and being rejected made me more determined to show others that I can work through my struggles as far as CP is concerned and be comfortable with it at the same time.

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