On holiday, I struggled with my cerebral palsy as we spent most of the day out of the hotel. We went to Torquay harbour, then drove to Paignton.
I slept through most of both journeys and walked at snail’s pace round each harbour trying to keep up. I never make it obvious that I struggle, but the realisation of what I live with rests heavily sometimes.
When we came back to the hotel we rested a little, then everyone went swimming. I know swimming is good for me, but I’m not keen. Although I had so many people watch me as a child, it doesn’t feel like an issue now, because I don’t really care what people think about what they see, I just don’t like it.
I tend to reflect on what I could do if I didn’t have cerebral palsy, what I could wear. Claudia was wearing flip-flops and I just wished I could have worn them too. I want to be able to walk without getting tired, without tripping up, without struggling and without dragging myself along like I’m older than my years.
I know it isn’t going to happen, but I do reflect every now and again and don’t see that as a bad thing. Some may see that as being negative, but I always take something positive from it. Like I managed to walk, I got to see Torquay and Paignton and I didn’t give up and go back to the car.
I packed myself off to bed early. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open a minute longer. I was done for the day.