Today I struggled with my Cerebral Palsy as we spent most of the day out of the hotel. We went to Torquay harbour, then drove to Paignton. I slept through most of both journeys and walked at snail’s pace round each harbour trying to keep up. I never make it obvious that I struggle, but the realisation of what I live with rests heavily sometimes.
When we came back to the hotel we rested a little, then everyone went swimming. I know swimming is good for me, but I’m not keen. Although I had so many people watch me as a child, it doesn’t feel like an issue now, because I don’t really care what people think about what they see, I just don’t like it. I usually find some other way to exercise. It got to the stage where I couldn’t be bothered to deal with other people’s ignorance.
Like the time when I had just come out of parents evening and Brad and I were one of the last parents to leave. As we were walking down the drive to the car, Claudia’s teacher unbeknown to me had been following us to the car park and stopped to ask what was wrong with me as I had been limping for most of the way.
I tend to reflect at what I could do if I didn’t have Cerebral Palsy, what I could wear. Claudia was wearing flip-flops and I just wished I could have worn them too. I want to be able to walk without getting tired, without tripping up, without struggling and without dragging myself along like I’m older than my years.
I know it isn’t going to happen, but I do reflect every now and again, but don’t see that as a bad thing. Some may see that as being negative, but I always take something positive from it. Like I managed to walk, I got to see Torquay and Paignton and I didn’t give up and go back to the car.
I packed myself off to bed early and left my family watching house. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open a minute longer. I was done for the day.