My different world

Because I deal with neurological impairments, all new circumstances are difficult, some of which I shy away from, some of which I go into with trepidation, anxiety and uncertainty, primarily because I have no choice.

If my new circumstances don’t visually look or feel right, it’s easy for me to panic and feel anxious. Sadly, as a child my parents taking responsibility for me didn’t take away new circumstances, or less familiar settings, I struggled with all of those.

I also remember continually having to deal with obsessions centred around getting ill, which I still have today; continually having to talk myself out of it. Now having watched Chris Packham’s documentary on Asperger’s and having had Asperger’s confirmed myself, there is a lot of comparisons I can draw with him on what I deal with, particularly around obsessions; fear and anxiety.

The sad reality is that having Asperger’s, meant we continually had to try to adapt into our lives as children, not fully knowing why we felt as we did, with our view and take on the world being completely different to those  with a normal view and thinking and still being judged for how others perceived us.

With Asperger’s (AS) we’re forced to adapt, because society expects us to fit in, rather than others working with and around us to help us fit into our own routines. As a little girl, in certain situations it was obvious I didn’t fit in. I would spend hours talking and working through things on my own, but didn’t know why, constantly having to talk myself out of things, brought about through bad thoughts and feelings.

For those of us with Asperger’s, we must find our own coping strategies, for others to allow us to be who we are. How we cope initially starts in childhood and very much depends on the support mechanism in place. As Chris mentioned, with anxiety it’s easy ‘to go off on one,’ with multiple thoughts whirring around in our heads, but ultimately it’s important others understand the bigger picture on what we have to deal with.

Like Chris has been successful at his job with the BBC, (and where he admits he couldn’t do it without his Asperger’s) I also believe the same with my site. I am successful with my site because of my neurological impairments. Being able to see things with a greater clarity and being able to see the world in a more visual way, allows me to write in a more visual way.

Asperger’s isn’t curable but with the right parental input, a child can be taught to consciously adjust into their lives better. The more parents work with their children, the more independent their children will become.

22 Oct, 2017

2 thoughts on “My different world

  1. It must be very difficult for you to have to work through and find out for yourself what your symptoms are. But it’s positive that you’re then able to blog about it, because I am sure that will help others too.

    You have a platform also from which to talk about your difficulties and that’s great.

    1. Thank you. Yes, it’s been massively difficult having to work through all my symptoms, but at the same time it has kept me grounded, as I’ve worked through the process.

      I am also grateful for the platform that I have created. I think it is massively important for us to talk about what we deal with, regardless of whether our experiences are positive.

      It helps us come to terms with our lives and that helps with our emotional health.

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Ilana x