This disorder is something else I never made the connections that me switching off from my difficulties, particularly as a child was me dissociating from my experiences. It was something I continually did.
Dissociation is a mental process whereby we disconnect from our thoughts, feelings, memories, or from our sense of identity. It’s a coping and defence mechanism. I would often lose myself in a daydream and remember thinking how normal that was. The reality is that it was far from normal.
It’s a means of being able to escape from reality in ways that are unhealthy and involuntary. It develops as a reaction to a difficult life where trauma is involved, and for us to help keep difficult memories at bay. A person may choose to dissociate from their circumstances, memories, feelings of trauma, or victimisation.
But where Dissociation allows us to escape from the horrors associated with our experiences, it can also can make it difficult for us to remember the details of our experiences later on, primarily because we’ve blocked the trauma out.
In my own case, as I began to peel back the layers on my experiences, I was able to identify and work through those experiences piece by piece. I hadn’t blocked them out, I merely put them somewhere so I could protect myself and so that I didn’t own those experiences.
I think it’s important we refer back to our experiences, even the most difficult ones, because without referring back and dealing with those experiences we will never emotionally or spiritually grow.
I couldn’t write about each experience through my blogs, without being able to remember the experiences to my past.