Due to the nature of my cerebral palsy and the damage around my cerebral cortex, I know I am more mentally and emotionally disabled than I am physically.
The cerebral cortex controls both motor function and emotions, and in my case my motor skills and physical disability are relatively mild: the main issues revolve around my inability to physically feel and my sensory issues.
There is no easy way to deal with a disability. Where one person might struggle, another with similar symptoms may not, but our perceptions and the nature of having a disability, and us having to fit in are hard. I don’t think one element is harder than the other, I just think they’re different.
I talk about my intuition a lot, because I use that as compensation. I use it in the context of my emotions and to gauge or anticipate how others might feel. I also use it to read other people’s emotions and manage my thoughts constructively. I say thoughts, rather than feelings, because that is what they are. They’re just thoughts.
To feel is to physically feel and all that physically feeling entails, but the damage to the cerebral cortex means this is what I struggle with. Because of my brain impairment, it is easy for me to lock myself away. Inevitably I retreat into my own little world. My intuition acts as my guide and helps me work things out where my brain isn’t able to do it.
I choose to adapt, to try to find acceptance on everything I deal with. Life becomes harder if I don’t. I must fit into my life around my disability, as others must fit into mine.