My emotional struggle

I have a downer on myself when I’m having a bad day. I was angry growing up, desperate to know what was wrong with me; it was clear to me that I was not coping with my mental, emotional and physical problems.

I feel angry that my problems were ignored by those whose job it was to protect me, instead of leaving me continually exposed. Every now and again I find myself being brought back to this place.

If I didn’t struggle in other areas of my life, my anger issues around my disability wouldn’t continue to play such a big part in my emotions.

11 Jan, 2016

8 thoughts on “My emotional struggle

  1. It’s difficult not to think about how things would have been, if we had received support from the beginning. I find myself feeling down when I think about it.

    We need to focus on how well we have managed despite that. I hope you feel better about it, but it’s fine to have our off days.

    1. Thanks Maria. Although it saddens me to think about it, it makes me realise how far I’ve come on my own and that lifts me slightly.

      I made a promise to myself long ago that I would choose to do things differently if I ever had my own children and am happy to say I have.

      Although you and I have had similar experiences, it’s nice that we’re both grounded enough to understand our lives. To a certain extent that helps us cope.

  2. I couldn’t agree more! ! The most frustrating part for me, is being seen as if I have the same physical abilities as everyone else, when clearly I limp and have body weakness. Then getting by, glared at because I’m inconveniencing someone, because I can’t walk far or whatever the situation is.

    I’m working on getting a diagnosis now and won’t stop until I get answers.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. I hear your frustrations. Having been in the same boat as you for many years, I’m only too aware of what emotional strife that can bring.

      I will support you in any way I can. You deserve to have your diagnosis and believe in my heart you eventually will.

  3. Thank you Ilana! You are such a sweetheart and at this point can say, what would I do without you?

    I wish we lived in the same country and closer so we can meet up. Someday, hopefully. Anyway yes it is very hard. Do you ever feel the need to nap during the afternoon? I sure do, my parents call me the marathon napper! Done that since I was a kid

    And I have to agree with Maria! My parents did what they thought was right during my birth and infancy and for that I applaud them and am thankful.

    However, I truly wish my parents had demanded tests be done, because now I wouldn’t have to do all of this as an adult, especially in school and having to do physical activities and school work.

    1. Awww thanks Bonnie! Yes it would be lovely for us to meet. We have so much in common. The emotional struggle of living with any condition is hard because it’s just not the physical issues we deal with.

      Unfortunately, those close to us doesn’t always understand that. I do find the more I exert myself, the more tired I get. I also think the older you and I get, the more we will have to make more exert to ourselves and that will also make us tired.

      We just have to do our best with what we’ve been given Bonnie and hopefully that will make it easier for us.

  4. Thank You Ilana! You’re very inspirational and motivational too. You know how to turn negative emotions into positives and for that I’m so thankful and blessed.

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Ilana x