Nearly eight years on and out of everything I’ve had to deal with since I started my ‘knowing’ journey, my handwriting is the only thing I haven’t yet tackled. I haven’t talked about my struggles with my handwriting in any great detail yet, primarily because I’m too embarrassed.
Handwriting is one of those things we learn as a child and then subconsciously just do it. We don’t even have to think about it; although I appreciate that with technology advances we probably write less now. Sadly, my brain damage stops me from forming my letters together.
Another problem is that if someone speaks too quickly as I’m trying to write, my brain not only has trouble interpreting what I hear at the speed it’s given, but I also struggle to form the outlines. As explained, my Consultant says this is due to a non-dominant parietal lobe problem, so perhaps I shouldn’t be so embarrassed.
I also write at snail’s pace. In school my writing was too small, but perhaps that’s got something to do with the outlines being small enough for me to form them, without them being a problem. It didn’t matter how many times I got shouted at or how many times I was told to write larger and quicker, I just couldn’t. It’s also a shame no teacher stopped to question why.
Now that I have managed to make the outlines slightly bigger, they’re even less formed. I have always struggled with my handwriting, but it also didn’t help that my father used to walk behind me telling me to do the things he knew I couldn’t do.
There are times where I feel incredibly stupid that something so basic is something I struggle with, but I think I’m struggling more with the injustice of how I got to this place again.