My recent thoughts

Dealing with a terminal illness is difficult, but it becomes even more difficult when the cancer advances and it begins to affect the appetite.

I’m not sure at what point my father lost his appetite, as everything seems a blur right now. Changes in appetite are common with cancer and cancer treatments, but unfortunately for any cancer patient, not eating enough or eating enough of the right foods can lead to problems with weight loss, particularly around illness.

Some days it feels we got to this stage very quickly, but then when I look back it’s gone very slowly. Now between my father’s cancer becoming more advanced and months of chemotherapy treatment, he’s fleeting from having a small appetite for certain foods to going off most or all of his foods. I think sometimes we may not always know why for sure.

There are days where I wish the struggle didn’t exist or it were completely over. Maybe that’s selfish, but I’m tired of being tired, tired of seeing my father struggle and for us as a family to struggle because of what he goes through.

16 Sep, 2012

4 thoughts on “My recent thoughts

  1. As scary as it is, we do our best and deal with it.

    I think you’re dealing with all you’ve been dealing with very well. I dealt with my fathers cancer the best I knew how and then fell apart when he finally past, which wasn’t a long time after his diagnosis.

    My father has most of my love with him and I miss him dearly and I think if he would have eaten something he would have been around longer.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I think your father eating for longer would have bought him a little time, but when our time’s up it’s usually up.

      I am sure you will have done your best Lisa, although from my own experience it’s not always easy to know whether our loved ones see that we’ve done our best.

  2. It does seem to drag on forever, like it did with my mother after her hematoma and waiting for her to finally pass.

    They could have operated I’m sure, but it would have only been delaying the inevitable and her mind was already gone, by that point.

    It was definitely the hardest decision in my life and I don’t think they expected her to hang on so long. Not trying to be negative, just trying to say that I can understand how hard it can be to see a parent going through such a hard time.

    Hopefully your Father will end up getting better and it won’t take too long for it to occur.

    I’m sure you’re just hoping for some peace in your life. Hang in there!

    1. Thanks Randy. I totally agree with you. With a terminally ill parent, both the parent and siblings tend to go through a hard time. I completely understand how you must have felt with your mother. It’s never an easy time.

      I’m hanging on in there, not so easy… but I’m managing.

      Thank you so much for your concern. That helps.

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