Seeing my father this afternoon put me in somewhat of a reflective mood. It has helped me understand him and his life a little more.
I feel it’s important to understand how and why I got to this place with my disability and to challenge what I need to find out. Not everyone wants to change. Where I was angry for many years, it doesn’t take a genius to understand why.
We have always had a particular understanding between us, an unspoken word around my disability. I can’t change others behaviour, but as I watch my father deteriorate, I genuinely want him to be okay, so that when the time comes for him to make his transition, it will go smoothly.
As I watch him from the other side of the room, he needs to let go of his guilt. The guilt he continues to live with. He has my permission now.