Certain experiences trigger certain issues. My writing, has shaped who I have become, so it’s not all bad. There is no doubt that my father had high expectations. As children we learn and come to know many things about our parents.
The day I received my exam results at the age of 16, will always firmly be etched in my mind, because I remember the phone call I made to my father to tell him about my grades and although he was okay about it, it was obvious from his response he wasn’t expecting much.
He never anticipated I would do any better, but my whole schooling was like that. The truth was that through cerebral palsy, I was struggling to grasp even the basics in school. And although it still bothers me, I know that with the help I will have adjusted better had the help and support been in place.
Each day that I showed up for school was another day of mental and emotional torment. What isn’t right is that given my disability, the onus was on me and I lapped up the guilt because it had no where to go.
All external exams come out in the UK on a Thursday, so by Friday my father was already on the phone to my school to discuss my options. Being told that I hadn’t achieved the required grades to stay on at school, by the following Monday my father had already enrolled me in college.
There was no discussion, and I simply conformed as I always did. It was another part of my education that brought with it, yet more irritations and frustrations.