Not only am I living under a continual cloud around my health issues, now having looked through my medical notes again, although I initially dismissed having Spina Bifida because it wasn’t an obvious diagnosis and the conversation was between the Specialist and my father, my medical notes clearly state that at the age of 14 in 1977, the Specialist confirmed that is what I had.
Now I know this is something else I have to deal with. In that same consultation and again in my notes, I was also diagnosed with mental retardation at the same time. In society today, ‘mental retardation’ would be known as ‘learning difficulties.’ My parents were supposed to work with the specialist, but that was ignored.
Sadly, a Cerebral Palsy diagnosis is never a straight forward path, because not only are there neurological symptoms linked to the disorder that changes how we get to function in our lives, but we also have other diagnoses that are linked to the original condition that we don’t always know about.
I tend to skim when I read but now having looked through my notes once again, this time reading more thoroughly, in that same consultation with the Specialist, on the mental retardation diagnosis, my father’s opinion was that my inability to learn was simply down to a bad memory, as that is what the Specialist repeated back in his letter to my General Practitioner.
What I’m having difficulty getting my head around is that where the needs of a child are supposed to be met, in my situation it was only the needs of the parents that mattered. My emotional challenges were ignored. Where I was told by certain family members there was nothing wrong, this is further from what was really wrong and is part of my struggles today.
Not only is what happened a warped way of parenting, depriving me of knowing my diagnoses and symptoms means I’m still having to work through those, rather late in the day.
In another personal blog, I will try to link everything together so I have a fuller picture; but at least for now my experiences are beginning to come together. I am thankful to have my Diary to help me.