The winter months bother me, both emotionally and physically because I deal with Cerebral Palsy.
I have now noticed a change in my strength on my left side. My leg tone has always been noticeable thinner, weaker and never as strong as my right; but I never knew for sure, until recently that there is evidence of Cerebral Palsy in my arm too, which tends to feel worse in the winter. My right side is also beginning to compensate for my left side, which is inevitable.
I’m on my own most of the time with my thoughts. I remember as a child wanting to talk about my physical restraints, but no one wanted to know. I was desperate to be heard and helped, but all my efforts diminished and I eventually gave up trying. No one heard; no one cared.
The act of listening is a blessing, even if it doesn’t cure. Cerebral Palsy isn’t something that goes away, it isn’t something that will ever be sorted. It’s for us to accept and that is what I am trying to do. Some days I win, other days I struggle, but that’s okay because I’m never down for long. I bounce back.
Of course, we all have something that we deal with. This isn’t just about what I deal with. It’s about understanding, and compassion as we walk through our journey in life, to help others whilst we help ourselves, so that we’re happier and more content with what we have to deal with.
I’ve never once felt sorry for myself. Because I never understood what it was I was dealing with; in my formative years that became my focus, not surprisingly. With no support, it was never going to be easy taking my mind off it.
Now my focal point is back to what I focused on all those years ago and with the help of my site, this is all very positive for me.