My thoughts in winter

The winter months bother me, both emotionally and physically because I deal with Cerebral Palsy.

I have now noticed a change in my strength on my left side. My leg tone has always been noticeable thinner, weaker and never as strong as my right; but I never knew for sure, until recently that there is evidence of Cerebral Palsy in my arm too, which tends to feel worse in the winter. My right side is also beginning to compensate for my left side, which is inevitable.

I’m on my own most of the time with my thoughts. I remember as a child wanting to talk about my physical restraints, but no one wanted to know. I was desperate to be heard and helped, but all my efforts diminished and I eventually gave up trying. No one heard; no one cared.

The act of listening is a blessing, even if it doesn’t cure. Cerebral Palsy isn’t something that goes away, it isn’t something that will ever be sorted. It’s for us to accept and that is what I am trying to do. Some days I win, other days I struggle, but that’s okay because I’m never down for long. I bounce back.

Of course, we all have something that we deal with. This isn’t just about what I deal with. It’s about understanding, and compassion as we walk through our journey in life, to help others whilst we help ourselves, so that we’re happier and more content with what we have to deal with.

I’ve never once felt sorry for myself. Because I never understood what it was I was dealing with; in my formative years that became my focus, not surprisingly. With no support, it was never going to be easy taking my mind off it.

Now my focal point is back to what I focused on all those years ago and with the help of my site, this is all very positive for me.

28 Jan, 2011

6 thoughts on “My thoughts in winter

  1. The winter has begun to bother me as well.

    I’ve noticed that when it starts getting colder, that my left side feels tight. I have aches in my left arm and left leg.

    My lower back also hurts, but that may be due to snow shoveling, it’s the kind that sends a shock from my butt down the back of my left leg.

    1. I feel for you Bill. It’s probably standard practice given that we deal with the effects of CP, particularly in the winter.

      I hope emotionally you begin to feel better soon.

  2. I had a very bad day yesterday. I fell 3 times. I hate winter.

    It is so difficult to get around with the ice and snow. When I arrived home yesterday I looked like something out of a disaster movie. I had to put most of my clothes in the washer and wash them right away.

    This week with the damp weather we have been having, it is playing havoc on my legs. They are weaker than normal with more pain. Hopefully if we get some warmer weather my strength will return.

    1. Sorry to hear you fell yesterday and hope you’re okay today.

      I am hoping the same Randy. I know the summer months certainly help CP.

  3. I can’t stand the winter. It makes me hurt and I usually feel bad. I probably have seasonal affective disorder or SAD.

    I have a harder time dealing with things and people in general, (probably because other people are as miserable as I am). I never really liked winter.

    I absolutely love summer and the heat. I just sit on the porch and soak up the sun. I’m usually reading or something…and sometimes in the winter I’ll meditate on the summer, imagining the warm sun on my body which makes me feel a little better.

    1. I think a lot of people will have SAD, they probably just don’t know it. Hope you feel better soon Lisa, I know how hard the winter is for you.

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