My thoughts yesterday

I wanted yesterday to end, but the truth is, I didn’t want it to start. I didn’t want to have to deal with my day.

I wanted those around me to work from the same page and that wasn’t happening. It sounds ideal, we may have a problem and we help ourselves sort the problem out. The reality is that life isn’t always as easy as that and we may not always be equipped.

For that split second I couldn’t focus. I wasn’t able to find the motivation. I had a psychological wall build up. Things began to seem more daunting as the day wore on. I wanted to hibernate and ignore the world.

It’s amazing how the mind builds such powerful associations between places and how we feel in those places. Being happy and productive doesn’t change the way we feel, but being frustrated, unhappy and unproductive usually means we begin to associate those feelings with the place where we felt all those things.

I should have gone for a walk to clear my head, but I couldn’t move. I began to talk some of my thoughts out and took some quiet time to reflect where I was. By the time evening came, the wall began to crumble.

I’ve woken up this morning to very different feelings. I feel calm again.


10 May, 2012

2 thoughts on “My thoughts yesterday

  1. It sounds like you had a lot going on that hasn’t come to a resolution. I know it can be very frustrating to be in that position when you feel like nothing is going your way.

    I definitely can understand how paralysing it can be since I’ve had to deal with such deep bouts of depression for most of my life.

    Hopefully things will get better for you very soon.

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