My vulnerable side

It’s easy for me to talk about what I deal with and what I feel. As long as I can remember I’ve always been like this.

The hard part about anyone writing about experiences in this way means we will become more vulnerable. I have more confidence now than I have ever had. Writing about my experiences and introducing myself to a life that has allowed this side of my emotions to develop has given me that confidence, but I still lack confidence around what other people will think.

It would be like walking away and questioning a conversation you had with someone because although you know you didn’t say anything out of turn, another person’s perception, may sometimes change the status quo. I’m sure this thought won’t be unique to me. It’s probably something we will all face in our lifetime, but writing about what most people will read opens the door to more vulnerability.

It’s not something quickly remedied either. We would have to change our thinking to do that. I know that with a little more confidence in myself I’ll eventually let go as I begin to ignore my vulnerable side.

15 Jun, 2014

4 thoughts on “My vulnerable side

  1. I don’t mind talking about my diabetes. I’ve so far beaten the odds with it, but I still fight to keep it under control. I don’t feel comfortable about letting people know I have fibromyalgia.

    I think people instantly think that you’re on pain meds and treat you like your an addict. Yes, I’m on pain meds but I’m not an addict. I take only what I have to, to control the pain and that’s it. I feel like I have to explain myself to them especially when they get that look on their face.

    I do feel vulnerable around people when it comes to that diagnosis. Maybe it’s just me and my mind, my thinking. Maybe people don’t think that. I don’t ask what they are thinking I just assume it’s because that’s what most people think in my experience.

    I guess with the diabetes, I’ve lived with it for so long I don’t really think about it and what other people really think.

    1. Thanks Lisa. It’s very difficult to know what people really think about what they know about us. Having been born with CP, my condition is sometimes noticeable and that has made me more vulnerable to other people’s thoughts. Writing for The CP Diary has made me even more vulnerable, because I am very honest and open about my experiences.

      I think we would all like to be able to deal with what we deal with without thinking about what other people really think. The more people know us and know what we deal with and the more we talk about our experiences, the more vulnerable we become.

      I’m pleased you don’t think about it. Perhaps given time that will also be the case with your fibromyalgia.

  2. Talking about my vulnerabilities is not easy for me. I’m not sure if it’s a man thing or my fear of someone else’s perception of me.

    Writing publicly about your vulnerabilities is brave and admirable. It also shows how confident you are in yourself.

    1. Thanks Tim! I’ve thought about the same thing. I am sure our upbringing has something to do with the way we communicate, but probably as a general rule, women talk more about their feelings, either to their partners or a very close friend, more than a man will.

      Men often have to be cajoled or coaxed into saying how they feel. When I look back on my own experiences, whether we talk about our feelings or not, there are still some people who will have their own perceptions of us.

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