New outcomes

Sometimes new outcomes can leave us emotionally stuck. Although we believe the outcome is right, it’s never easy working on a new outcome, once we’ve we left the old one behind.

Of course, if something happens and we have no choice but to move on, a new level of acceptance will always be necessary, whether we like it or not. New outcomes are inevitable, but holding on to the old memories of what we had, will often make us feel worse about the outcome.

Having responsibility for making that decision is a reason why having responsibility feels heavy. It’s hard being the one in charge, the one having to accepting responsibility on our decisions. When we’re at that point where we have to make a decision, we will always have an element of concern, but we should always choose to look forward with confidence, never back.

The mind plays tricks as it goes back to the old thoughts, to thoughts that the decision we’ve made might not give us the right outcome, but that’s not always true. As panic sets in, we can often be made to feel this way, but I believe the outcome will always be right.

No one settles on a decision they initially feel is wrong. If we initially felt the decision was wrong, we wouldn’t have made it. We must trust ourselves, our research and our instincts that the decisions we make are right that the new outcomes are right. It’s only human nature that when we look back, we will always have doubt.

Perhaps that’s why we must never look back, only forward.

3 Jan, 2013

6 thoughts on “New outcomes

  1. I think we learn from the past. It’s like the saying, “Hind sight is 20/20.” It’s that way for children especially.

    They know that they did this before and that happened. This can be good or bad. Say a child has a melt down and got attention, well they think having a melt down is a way of getting attention and parents will eventually pick up on this and that’s when they need to change it around.

    Give no attention to the bad things and praise for the good stuff.

    1. I agree the majority of us learn from past behaviour and decisions, but in my experience it’s the bigger decisions that we have to make and learn from that can make us feel stuck, particularly if we’re left with no choices.

      We know that what has happened has happened, but then we have to deal with it and that can often be difficult.

  2. Yes, that has been my biggest dilemma, whereas I’m still mirrored in the old outcomes and don’t really have faith in any new ones!

    My life seems to have consisted of a pattern of failure, no matter what amount of effort I put in, which always leads me to thinking of “What’s the point?” and I don’t even want to bother trying anymore.

    It would be great to be able to feel differently but considering my current circumstances, I don’t see this changing anytime soon.

    The only thing I know is that the only way I can actually really move on is to be able to imagine different outcomes, which feels like it may take a miracle. I’m hoping and praying!

    1. Sometimes we have no choice but to work with new outcomes, as did happen to my family. Sometimes though I believe we have to make new outcomes happen, particularly if we’re in a rut. If we’re in a rut it’s up to us to get ourselves out of ‘the rut.’

      Of course that’s not always easy, but has to happen if we are to live the life we imagine, even if that means walking away or hurting someone else in the process.

      To stay and live the life we don’t want will only hurt us more.

  3. I agree with everything you have said here. I am trying to move in a new direction for 2013. Trying not to feel stuck in the New Year. Being stuck is no fun.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x