No need to feel guilty

I have so many thoughts tonight. I feel indifferent, calm and very tired. We may come to reflect on our relationships around the time we know someone we love is terminally ill. Relationships are about expression, we need to be able to express ourselves.

It would be easy for us to look back and pick fault, or feel guilty about something we’ve said, but I feel it’s unhelpful and counterproductive. It’s perfectly acceptable to react to something that we’re not happy with. It doesn’t change, just because someone is terminally ill.

On our part, we may be made to feel guilty, but others need to understand our behaviour is because they didn’t give us a choice. If we had been given a choice the situation would never have arisen, and we wouldn’t feel guilty. It is important to take responsibility.

As we may go about our lives, we  may not always stop to think about how we behave or what we say to people. It is only when we look back that we may see that we could have done things better.

The next time you feel guilty, think about whether you are responsible. Remember it takes two to work a relationship. A terminal illness doesn’t change that.


19 Feb, 2012

4 thoughts on “No need to feel guilty

    1. Yes Lisa I think you’re right. It’s a shame many of us don’t manage to do that.

      We tend to carry the guilt with us once our loved ones have gone.

    1. I totally agree with your sentiments.

      We should be just answerable to ourselves without feeling guilty for something that’s said that we had no choice but to act on.

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Ilana x