I have so many thoughts, which seem to be jumbled tonight. I feel indifferent, calm and very tired. We usually come to reflect on our relationships around the time we know someone we love is terminally ill. Relationships are about expression, we have to be able to express ourselves.
It would be easy for us to look back and pick fault, or feel guilty about something we’ve said, but it’s unhelpful and counterproductive. It’s perfectly acceptable to react to something that’s said that we’re not happy with. That doesn’t change just because someone is terminally ill.
On our part, we’re made to feel guilty, but others need to know our behaviour towards them is because they didn’t give us a choice. If we had a choice the situation would never have arisen, and we wouldn’t be made to feel guilty. We must all take responsibility, regardless of whether we’re the one who is terminally ill or we’re watching someone who is.
On a conscious level as we go about our lives, we don’t stop to think how we behave or what we say to people. It’s only when we look back, but not many of us do, that we see that we could have done things better.
We must do what’s right now, rather than worry later. So, the next time you feel guilty, think about whether you’re really responsible. Remember it takes two to work a relationship. A terminal illness doesn’t change that.