Wanting to be told versus being told? As a child, I wanted to know what was wrong with me. For me it was the only way I would come to understand what I was dealing with, both physically and emotionally.
It would also have taken away my issue of being ignored and misunderstood. Of course, there are people who genuinely don’t want to know what it is they have to deal with. Where it’s clear the individual should have been told initially and wasn’t, it’s then up to the individual to find out.
In my case, it’s been much harder not knowing. I was too inquisitive as a child to not want to know. I tend to work on understanding because without understanding, I become more frustrated. It would also have taken away my reason for being angry. I was unhappy. I wanted and needed to know.
There is also another side to the debate that ignorance is bliss. That a diagnosis defines that a diagnosis separates us from those without a disability or diagnosis to deal with. I would argue that nothing defines us unless we choose to be defined, but people will always choose what they want to be defined by.
Perhaps the problem is with society. We’re diagnosed and labelled both at the same time. I have Cerebral Palsy, but I’m not defined by it. Society needs to let go of the label for those of us who have and deal with a disability. It’s not only about disability, there is also gender and race inequality.
I am defined by the good things I choose to bring into my life and other people’s lives, but I choose not be defined by something that has the potential to emotionally destroy my inner peace. Any physical condition together with our emotional state can destroy those things. I choose not to let it. What do you choose?
If I had my time again, would I have chosen my life differently? If it meant I couldn’t have The CP Diary, because of that change, then it’s a no.