Not fitting in

2 Nov 2016

There’s a Kurt Cobain quote that goes: “They laugh at me because I’m different; I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”

For me dealing with a physical condition meant I didn’t fit in, but children are cruel that way. Unless they’re taught how to accept and live amongst other children who are different, they will always single us out.

Whilst not fitting in can emotionally make things more difficult, it also becomes obvious to others when children don’t fit in and that makes us feel more isolated, but perhaps we shouldn’t feel pressured into thinking we need to fit in. That’s the problem, we really just need to be ourselves.

Experience and life has shown me that it’s important to get on with life. It’s important for us to fit into our own lives, more than trying to fit into other people’s. We can whinge, complain and moan and continue to feel different, or we can be proactive and get on with things.

Personally, I believe life isn’t about us fitting in, it’s about making our own life count. That’s one of the most important things we can do and this is what I’m doing.

4 Responses to “Not fitting in”

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  1. Tim 02. Nov, 2016 at 2:09 pm #

    I used to try to fit into a stylistic category rather than a moral one with people. But I soon realized I was phony and clearly disingenuous with myself.

    It was probably envy more than anything else I think; I’m glad I recovered from that.

    • Ilana 02. Nov, 2016 at 2:17 pm #

      What you describe Tim is probably more common than you think. Sadly, this is exactly how the world functions.

      It happens in families, with friends, in the work place. I personally have never bought into these practices, but have seen it happen many times and agree with you when you say it was probably envy more than anything else.

      When we grow up with very little, we want what other children have. It is jealousy and envy that creates this stereotype.

  2. Brad 02. Nov, 2016 at 9:45 pm #

    We all try and fit in, when in reality we’re all different so there’s no where to fit.

    As you say life’s not about fitting in, it’s about how we relate to one another in our deeds and our words.

    • Ilana 02. Nov, 2016 at 9:53 pm #

      Thank you. Yes, how we relate together is important. Working together is more appropriate.

      The irony is that if we were able to work well together we’d fit in more; but our words and deeds are more important, because they can be either the reason we struggle to fit in to our own lives.

      Had I have had positive support growing up, I would have fitted in to my own life better. I wouldn’t have been as angry.

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