Not stopping to question

As children, we don’t stop to question the decisions our parents make for us. We may assume their decisions are in our best interests and for our own good.

But as parents, we either make decisions for our children based on what we want, or we may make decisions based on our children’s best interests.

Early on and learning on the job, I came to understand how important it was for my children to be independent free-thinkers. It is important to make decisions for children, based on the child and not on what we may want for ourselves.

Living with a physical disability as a child, helped me see life differently. I spent my formative years continually observing my world. It wasn’t something I could pin-point or understand at the time, things just felt different. I was never encouraged to be an independent thinker, but I was aware of how things should have been.

The inability of parents to let go of their children can stem from their own insecurities, but it may not be something they stop to question. Looking back on my own life, I missed out on support, which I never stopped to question.


27 Aug, 2012

4 thoughts on “Not stopping to question

  1. I can relate in a way.

    I wasn’t brought up to be independent either and to an extent I am still dependent on my husband for certain things, but I think I’m just being lazy in letting him take care of certain things. I don’t want to the stress of dealing with them.

    I have finally let my daughter go to live her own life and discover the world for herself. My parents kept me close until the day I was married.

    I even had a curfew til I was married!!

    1. I wasn’t independent from my family Lisa, but I was independent in other ways. Emotionally I made myself independent, even though I wasn’t allowed to do anything for myself.

      I am completely independent in my own right now and still am. I think it’s important for anyone to have their own emotional independence. I am happy to have stress as long as it means I get to make my own decisions.

      The real stress for me comes when someone tells me what to do, or tells me how to do it. My life was made up of that for many years.

      In any relationship there needs to be a balance.

    1. You’re right. I think parents do try too hard to some extent, but with so many outside influences it’s hard not to.

      Children change and grow a lot quicker than they used to. Parents are trying to fit in too.

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