Not stopping to question

As children, we don’t stop to question the decisions our parents make for us. We assume their decisions will be in our best interests, for our own good.

As parents, we can either make decisions for our children based on what we want, or we can make decisions based on our children’s best interests. Early on in parenting and learning on the job, I came to understand how important it was for my children to be independent and free-thinking. It is important any decisions parents make, are based on their children and not on what they want for themselves.

I am lucky in a way. Living with a physical disability as a child, helped me see life differently. I spent my formative years continually observing my world. It wasn’t something I could pin-point or even understand at the time, things just felt different. It would go on to take me another forty years to fully understand. Although I was never allowed to be independent, I was aware of how things should have been.

The inability of parents to let go of their children stems from their own insecurities, but that it’s perhaps not something they ever stop to question and they need to. Looking back on my own life, I missed out on support and encouragement, which could have led to certain possibilities.

27 Aug, 2012

4 thoughts on “Not stopping to question

  1. I can relate in a way.

    I wasn’t brought up to be independent either and to an extent I am still dependent on my husband for certain things, but I think I’m just being lazy in letting him take care of certain things. I don’t want to the stress of dealing with them.

    I have finally let my daughter go to live her own life and discover the world for herself. My parents kept me close until the day I was married.

    I even had a curfew til I was married!!

    1. I wasn’t independent from my family Lisa, but I was independent in other ways. Emotionally I made myself independent, even though I wasn’t allowed to do anything for myself.

      I am completely independent in my own right now and still am. I think it’s important for anyone to have their own emotional independence. I am happy to have stress as long as it means I get to make my own decisions.

      The real stress for me comes when someone tells me what to do, or tells me how to do it. My life was made up of that for many years.

      In any relationship there needs to be a balance.

    1. You’re right. I think parents do try too hard to some extent, but with so many outside influences it’s hard not to.

      Children change and grow a lot quicker than they used to. Parents are trying to fit in too.

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