On relationships

This blog is my hardest blog yet. It’s has taken a while to write it and it’s been far from easy.

I now recognise an issue that I have been struggling with for many years, which will never be verified by doctors because of the lack of research. I also know that the symptoms that affect me, may not affect other people with Cerebral Palsy.

Looking back, it is true to say that I never had the feelings that one associates with wanting to be with someone. The feeling that you want to spend every waking moment with that person and that being apart would be too difficult; for me it just didn’t happen. I never had the innate feeling either that I wanted or needed to take the relationship to a more serious level.

I am sure that the Cerebral Cortex is affected and that the part of my brain that deals with feelings hasn’t developed. The pre-adolescent feelings when we are attracted to the opposite sex didn’t happen for me.

From my own research, the Cerebral Cortex that deals with any kind of feelings might be affected. I don’t feel what others feel. I think this also infringes on intimacy and other aspects of my life too and that can be very difficult at times.

It would be interesting to know whether there is anyone else out there who feels or who has the same kind of problems. I have come across one other person who also struggles, but I am not aware of anyone else.

It would be helpful to hear from other people whose experiences are similar.


9 Aug, 2011

8 thoughts on “On relationships

  1. Any relationship I had in high school was the result of a circle of friends I had at the time. There were a couple of special relationships in 4 years but I did not go to dances or stuff like that. I missed out because of CP.

    College was far better because I was on my own for the first time. It was hard work but there were many many rewards. I met a great group of classmates and had a lot of fun. I treasure that time.

    1. Thanks Randy. Many people seem to find their feet at college rather than in a school environment for whatever reason.

      It’s lovely that you had two special relationships. It’s also nice that you can look back on your time in college with fond memories.

  2. Very interesting post and I think it would make for interesting research.

    I didn’t have any relationships until I was a senior in high school and that relationship lasted a long time (5 years), but my parents wouldn’t let me out of their sight, so the relationship really didn’t progress normally and I broke it off cause the feelings weren’t there.

    After high school my parents let go of the leash and I was off exploring and discovering things I should have experienced when I was younger. I really only had one meaningful relationship even then and that one was my first marriage.

    I’m now on my second marriage and this one will last a long time (so far 17 years) I hope. The real feelings for someone that you’re talking about I developed later in life also and I don’t have CP.

    I think I do have some sort of brain problem maybe some damage due to my diabetes. I was diagnosed at age 8 so I’ve had it for a long time and there is some research that diabetes does cause certain brain damage like very low blood sugar.

    Good post.

    1. Thank you for being so honest Lisa about what you dealt with as an adolescent growing up.

      The problems you experienced in adolescence will always be with me because of my brain damage and this is just something else I have to cope with on a day to day basis.

      I know that diabetes is a serious condition in itself and I hope you manage to keep it under control.

      You are a special friend. 🙂

    1. It helps for me to understand my struggles, so everything falls into place now on all my experiences as far as relationships are concerned.

      I am a lot more relaxed about things now. Thanks.

  3. I am wondering if there isn’t a connection between relationship problems and CP. When I get my feelings hurt for what ever reason, I just withdraw from the situation and anyone involved.

    Our basement family room is my escape because I feel safe there and I don’t have to interact with anyone I don’t want to. I think I have anxiety and I wonder if CP has anything to do with it.

    My adult daughter says I’m just being passive-aggressive.

    1. Thanks Deanna. If you’re struggling to cope with your Cerebral Palsy it can make your relationships slightly more difficult, particularly if you have little understanding from family and friends.

      How we deal with things can make us passive-aggressive, particularly if we’re not coping, but family who truly understand will understand you and want to help you.

      Having Cerebral Palsy isn’t a given for relationship problems per say, but it can contribute to issues with how we cope emotionally, with what we have to deal with.

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