Being 70% mentally disabled means I am 30% physically disabled. Considering I didn’t know I was disabled at all, it’s a lot of numbers to get my head around. Others not caring enough to help me work through my disability is hard.
It’s not the life I wanted, but it’s the life I got. Luckily for me my blog and book have made me stronger. I have understanding now. Although my life’s been tough, it’s why I’ve had to live this life that I struggle with the most.
Ignoring my disability’s very presence, is the catalyst to my mental struggles and as much as I try to reconcile, where I think I’m okay, my subconscious tells me I’m not. I was the scapegoat.
Why, therefore, am I to blame? Why are other people’s wrongdoings never placed on them and why do they feel threatened, instead of them accepting they are responsible, when we eventually manage to change and move on with our lives?
I continue to live with the fact that although my disability has given me a better life, it has still come at a mental cost and that’s not okay. Truthfully, I have my struggle days.
It’s not something I will get over. It was never moral or ethical, and I am both. That feels like the hardest part.