Others’ conformity

I am more emotionally disabled than I am physically, because it’s my Cerebral Cortex that is extensively damaged. Any neurological disorder will adversely affect normal communication and understanding.

I need to continue to adjust both physically and emotionally in my life, there’s no way of getting away from that. With brain damage, I have no choice, but what I deal with also makes it difficult for others to understand how to adjust to what I deal with.

Those around me don’t always try to understand how or why I think the way I do, or why they must conform to my understanding, but I’m still expected to fall into line with them and they get frustrated when I fall short of me just ‘getting things.’

Others therefore need to find a different way to think about how they deal with me. Relationships aren’t always easy to navigate, but more so when one lives with a disability and others must conform to the way we live.

16 Mar, 2017

6 thoughts on “Others’ conformity

  1. Life makes it plain that relationships require adjustment or conformity, unless you expect to live out your remaining years suffocating under someone’s selfishness.

    You compromise too, since everyone has a disability or whatever label might suit them better; no one is perfect.

    1. Thanks Tim. It would be lovely to think we’re all working off the same page, when it comes to relationships, but sadly that isn’t always the case.

      I agree with you that all relationships and friendships require adjustments and conformity, but some may require more of one and less of another; or equal depending on what we come into the relationship with.

      My disability has taught me that no one is perfect; but too many people either think they are perfect, will see others as less than perfect, or if they don’t see themselves as perfect, they still see themselves as superior.

  2. Yes, the reality is that people who don’t have our issues don’t really get how to relate to us. They get very impatient with us and I’m sure wish that we could just be normal to make life easier for them.

    I’m pretty sure I would have done just that, if I was able to such a long time ago. It would have saved me a lifetime of pain and suffering because I’m anything but what people would consider to be normal.

    I’m guessing that’s why I’m better able to communicate with my daughter, than most people out there. I seem to have the natural ability to translate, you could say, what people are trying to say; even if they’re not saying it the way everyone else would.

    I would imagine that’s why we have gotten along so well, considering we’re quite often on the same wavelength.

    1. Thanks Randy. Walking a mile in your daughter’s shoes has enabled you to think about and understand her life; what she deals with and how you can help her.

      I think more of us need to think about what others deal with from their point of view. That’s all it will take, but we tend to see things from our point of view first, theirs second.

      I am a firm believer we can see things from another person’s point of view first, without even having to think about or have an opinion. We have to want to of course.

      You have gone on to prove that it can be done Randy.

  3. I admit to not having the most patience with people, with whom I have as high expectations as I have of myself.

    I am told I could do better and I know I probably could.

    1. Thanks. Yes, patience isn’t on the top of people’s list, but it’s necessary. Our lives aren’t just about us.

      I tend not to look at expectations, because one way or another expectations can let us down. It’s also not right to place expectations on ourselves or others. It’s a big price to pay, particularly when expectations fall short.

      But life isn’t about expectations, it’s about doing what’s right but offering support, to understand what other people deal with too.

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