Our ability to cope

As adults, we’re expected to fit into an adult world, adapt into our circumstances and adapt into our lives, but all that starts in childhood.

With the right guidance, there will always be scope for us to adapt into that world, but just because we’re adults doesn’t always mean we’ll fit in. We can be an adult, be expected to fit into an adult world, but often cope less than.

A sad reflection but so true for so many. Perhaps therefore, we should give a thought to the many people who struggle to meet the demands of living in an adult world.

9 Jun, 2014

6 thoughts on “Our ability to cope

  1. Yes it is sad. There are so many people who just don’t fit in. I know one person right off that doesn’t fit in.

    He is more childish in his ways and just doesn’t act like an adult. He tries to act like other people, but it is so obvious and irritating, especially to the people he acts like. I think it should start in childhood. Our parents need to socialise the children more, so that they will find their way when they become adults.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I know one or two people myself who also struggle.

      The human emotions are so complex, I’m not even sure we would all come through our childhoods completely fitting into an adult world, with everything in place that was supposed to be in place, but you’re right it’s where it needs to start.

  2. We were forced to make a lot of adult decisions when we were children and the only example of coping was to drink and/or do drugs like our parents!

    I know personally I didn’t exactly learn the coping skills that most children have a chance to develop as they grow up. Mentally I still feel like I’m 12 and when I started partying which is usually when you stop growing.

    I don’t fit very well into the adult world still and I can’t say I really want to. It seems like a lot of so called adults enjoy behaving like spoiled rotten children who are mad because the world isn’t bowing at their feet.

    My ability to cope can be very limited which is probably why I don’t like spending a lot of time with people in general!

    1. Thanks Randy. Having had a slightly different experience to you I still understand where you’re coming from. I think my parents were very lucky I didn’t rebel, but I totally understand why you did.

      Parents are supposed to be our role models. They are supposed to show us how to grow into balanced adults, but as long as we can understand where our parents went wrong, we can learn to change certain things in our own lives. That’s what I did.

      I began to question my life more when I got into my early thirties, when I eventually turned my back on most of what I had learned and had to relearn my life again, so I was able to fit in. I believe you can too Randy.

  3. I can see how difficult it is to find our way as people. We start young trying to learn the best we can.

    Some people learn better than others and others have parents that are clueless and teach their kids all kinds of wrong ways to handle problems. A friend of mine is one of five children. Every single male child has been in jail, none of the children were disciplined nor taught not to use drugs or alcohol.

    It is very sad to see, now that they are adults, the parents feel responsible and think that buying them material things will show them love.

    The best gift you can give your kids is unconditional love, some discipline and good manners. They should be armed pretty well with that for starters. Had those 5 kids had some structure, maybe all the boys would have stayed out of jail and made a decent life for themselves.

    Sometimes all you need is a cheerleader in your corner, someone to hold your hand.

    1. Thanks Maria. I too can see how difficult it is to find our way sometimes. You’re absolutely right with your response. Life isn’t about the material things. I know so many parents though that over the years have bought their children things, in the hope that the material things will make their lives easier.

      Of course the reality is it never does and our children still have to have to be able to cope. These things are no substitute for love. I believe you’re right Maria.

      All we need is someone who will hold our hand, love us. Someone who will back and support us when we need it most.

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