Our all too familiar lives

Being kept in the dark well into my forties continues to gnaw at me, particularly as I’ve had to work through my symptoms on my own. Now finding out that I have 12 years of medical records missing is adding to that.

It’s reinforcing what I’ve had to deal with and is having a bearing on how I feel. It’s bad enough when any parent is self-absorbed, but add a disability and you’re looking at a whole new ballgame. When we’re born into a family that wants the best for us, whatever struggles we have, those struggles will always be made easier.

Perhaps I need to remember that our lives are mapped out from the minute we’re born and that I chose this life. We will spend most of our lives wishing our lives were different, but all that does is tie us into a spiral of negativity. Perhaps it’s not always about the circumstances, but the life mapped out that we’re was supposed to hone-in on.

Life has a way of working out how it’s supposed to, but because we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, we fail to see, or change anything. I can see the merit to the life I’ve lived. Whatever our life, or where we’ve come from, we have a choice to either stay as we are, or work to change things.

As I see it, our all too familiar life can continue to stay familiar, or we can choose to mix things up a little and change certain aspects of it where we can.

18 Dec, 2017

4 thoughts on “Our all too familiar lives

  1. I think you should take comfort in that as your life was predetermined, so was the lives of those around you, otherwise yours could not play out the way it has. They had to play their part in your ‘adventure.’

    Also, I have no doubt that this life was chosen for you for a reason. The reason is that you are strong enough to work through it, to turn it around and show others that through overcoming your struggles, others can also learn by it.

    That is not a job for the feint hearted and you show your path was chosen for good reason.

    1. Thank you. Yes, and I agree. When something like this happens, it becomes difficult to comprehend the enormity of what others have done.

      For any of us, this would probably be the most difficult part. It’s often when we’ve managed to work through our difficulties that we can see just how strong we’ve become.

      I believe that it’s the realisation that this was our life that we have difficulty coming to terms with more.

  2. Yes, one of my biggest problems right now is being afraid of changing things, when the way things are is all too familiar for me.

    I haven’t ever had what you could call a normal life, but I’m actually far too used to the circus that my life was, which even I don’t understand at times.

    My friend keeps asking me why it is that I put up with what I do, which I keep asking myself time after time. It almost seems like I’m more afraid of being happy which in a lot of ways you could say that I am.

    I have a choice to make about staying in the situation I’m in now and one where I could be with the one I always wanted to be with, which should be a no brainer.

    It’s just such a foreign concept to me that I could actually make that decision rather than others always making the decisions for me.

    1. You’ve said it yourself and summed up your own thoughts Randy. Yes, you could actually make a decision to move to be with the person you want to be with.

      Sadly, to stay just because it’s familiar isn’t the best scenario. There comes a time when we must feel the fear, do what’s uncomfortable, or remain stuck.

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