Sadly, being kept in the dark well into my forties continues to gnaw at me, particularly as I’ve had to work through my symptoms on my own. Now recently also finding out that I have 12 years of medical records missing is sadly adding to that.
It’s reinforcing what I’ve had to deal with and is also having a bearing on how I feel. It’s bad enough when any parent is self-absorbed, but add a disability and you’re looking at a whole new ballgame for the child. When we’re born into a family that wants the best for us, whatever struggles we have, those struggles will always be made easier.
Perhaps on my part I need to remember that our lives are mapped out from the minute we’re born and that’s what I need to get into my head. We spend most of our lives wishing our life was different, but all that does is tie us into a spiral of negativity. Perhaps it’s not always about the circumstances, but the life mapped out that we’re was supposed to hone in on.
Life has a way of working out how it’s supposed to, but because we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, we fail to see or change anything. In my formative years, I’m guilty as charged, but now I can see the merit to the life I’ve lived. That said, whatever our life, or where we’ve come from, we have a choice to either stay as we are, or work to change things.
As I see it, our all too familiar life can continue to stay familiar, or we can choose to mix things up a little and change certain aspects of it where we can.