In the last two years working through my son’s assault there were times where I literally felt like giving up. Things just seemed too hard. My life has taken a different turn and things for me don’t feel the same. I feel indifferent today, neither good nor bad.
Part of me is relieved that we’re finally able to move forward, but I’ve struggled to get to this place, so it’s not making me feel very good. It’s always emotionally draining when we have to work hard to get to a better place.
Although I have always been aware of what’s out there in the world, the assault has made me more aware now. I am more on my guard and have to be. I never thought for one moment this is what we would have had to deal with.
When I was a child I wasn’t aware of what went on outside of my own four walls. I was completely protected from it. Looking back now at that time, I don’t believe the world was any less scary then. Things still happened but I didn’t get to hear about those things.
As a family we have tried so hard not to dwell on the assault, but that’s not been easy either. I have worked so hard to try to keep normality in our lives, we all have, but must admit we didn’t always succeed. Stress always find its way in.
I find it very sad that children of today, need to be more vigilant once they leave home so that they’re safe at all times. No one has that guarantee, even your child.